9 things i learned from seeing U2

1) despite being on stage with 3 of his best friends and in front of an audience of 20,000, adam clayton still seems like the loneliest man on the planet during a concert.

2) bono has a political agenda. who knew?

3) american audiences, while well-meaning, are stupid. upon hearing above agenda the appropriate reaction is NOT to scream like a girl and hold up a lighter.

4) "bad" is still one of the greastest songs ever written, and if need be, can subsitute as a fine altar call.

5) concert merchandise is so over priced now, it was hard to even look let alone buy anything. i said it was hard, not impossible.

6) if you wear a cow suit, you WILL get into the ellipse down front.

7) even the edge makes mistakes (albeit on piano and not guitar, but still.)

8) "running to stand still" makes me cry on record. it absolutely devastates me live.

9) it is indeed, as a friend once told me, a religious experience.

there are more, but i gotta go see a guy about a thing...

you. me. fleet center. tonight

notice: even though he didn't need to, adam ensures us all that U2 is the coolest band on the planet by wearing a "kansas jayhawk" shirt to the grammys.

everyone enjoy your "non-U2-seeing" evening. i'm out.

television review: amber frey: witness for the prosecution

tonight at 9pm on CBS, we can finally see the "true" story behind the woman who rocked the scott peterson case.

america. DO NOT watch this. please. watch alias or lost or american idol. anything else. watch MTV if you have to. just don't watch this movie.

things i love: a spin-off of the popular "10 things i hate" segment

1) being sick.




this has been "things i love." thanks for visiting.

shout-out!!!

after yelling at the good doctor all the time for stealing blogs, i have no choice but to give the propers to my roomie for his "south park-izing" of our little online community.

check it out.

what is emotion?

i was given a membership to the institute of contemporary art here in boston upon my move to this fair city in september. snow and work have thus far hindered my attempts to go visit it. i do, however, receive all the mailings...and in fact there are plans to go next week when the person who gave me the membership is in town.

today, i received this mailer for their new exhibit:



now, for all of my teammates at "giant-global-financial-institution," i think we know that the question is not "what is emotion?" but rather...is it, in fact, important?

(footnote: this is the narrowest joke i will ever post. if it makes no sense to you, don't worry about it. for those who do get it...enjoy.)

30 years and counting

just over 20 hours from now, i will officially reach that oft-maligned milestone of "turning 30."

i thought heavily of posting some sort of "1975-2005-introspective-review" to mark the occasion. the things i've learned. my failures. the sucesses. the good times. the bad.

but i have never liked making a big deal of my birthday.

so, instead of boring you with all that self involved nonsense, i have decided instead to let it be known that i have received the ONE AND ONLY thing i truly wanted for my birthday:

FOX has ordered 22 more episodes of arrested development for the fall season.

now THAT'S worth celebrating.

just an observation

so, i'm reading through c.s. lewis' the chronicles of narnia. (author's note: not to be confused with his less popular, the chronicles of riddick.)

anyway, i can't help but notice the subtle, yet strong, christian overtones in these books. i mean aslan may as well be christ himself.

has anyone else ever noticed this?

3 things loosely associated with "loovull" kentucky

1) hearing the sounds of a nearby bowling salesman feverishly pushing his products on an unwilling client over the cell phone; mixed in with whitney houston's "the greatest love of all" being piped in from the loudest speaker on the planet; sitting across from a miserable-looking girl sporting a "get lucky in kentucky" t-shirt; all the while, the inexplicable smell of cream cheese strudel fills the air.

i love airports.

2) how can i be justified or motivated to unpack, when i come home to a bed that is COVERED with last week's laundry?

3) thank you. ms. carey, for bringing into my life the phrase: "gay as a sequin fanny-pack."

tony pena resigns as the royals manager...

at least this keeps the front office from making the mistake of firing him. they now can save all of their mistakes for later in the season when they trade mike sweeney and promote the entire AAA omaha team to "the majors."

for those of you in kansas city who cried for this...i hope you're happy.

best of luck tony. you're a good coach.

watch out universe

so i get my entertainment weekly today and flip through as i do every friday.

i notice a thicker piece of card stock in the middle of the issue and i turn to it to find a free "star wars" scratcher game courtesy of burger king.



alright. why not?

so i scratch off the game piece and this is what i find:



so, not only am i apparently an ewok...but my destiny, IN THE WHOLE OF THE UNIVERSE, is a free breakfast sandwich or whopper.

man, my destiny sucks.

a 500-word rant concerning retailers

(the 500-word rant was mercilessly stolen and bastardized from the gang over at spite magazine.)

hey, home depot. it’s called customer service, give it a shot. when someone stands in the middle of your cavernous warehouse for 40 minutes looking like they’ve been lost in the mojave…help them. it may seem like a better idea to ignore the customer and act busy, but it’s not. it is not my job, as a customer, to seek you out and beg for assistance. if someone walked into my house, i might ask them if they needed a hand with something. it’s in your court, home depot. i will not yield. i am stubborn.

to all managers of subway sandwich shops: be examples for your employees. hiring high schoolers is a noble thing. leaving them alone, untrained, to run your stores is not. i feel old every time i enter and receive that look that says “you just invaded an 18 and under club, sir.” i feel bad that i interrupt very important conversations about “so-and-so” being cute or “who spilled the tub of mayonnaise in the back room.” or heaven help me if i disrupt a front of the establishment smoke break. i do sincerely apologize for inconveniencing your under prepared staffers. i know that they simply don’t know any better. it’s up to you, managers, to guide them. teach them the difference between being nice to the customer and screaming joking obscenities at the friend who is in the corner waiting for said customer to leave so that the secret, after school club festivities can resume.

then, there’re the ultra-hipsters at the gap. i accept that you are better than me. i accept that i will never look in these clothes the way you do right now. can’t we just get to the exchange of money so i can be on my way? your old navy brethren don’t seem to have a problem with me. is it because you don’t get walkie-talkies to play with? oh, and thank you for making me think that i can pull off colors like lavender, orange and turquoise. i know i can’t. you know it. let’s just be honest with each other.

best buy greeters: i’m fine. thanks for asking, but please wait until i’m actually through the door before you jump me.

everyone else at best buy: i do not need help. get with the people over at home depot; figure out a way to split the difference between their customer abandonment issues and your customer harassment issues. if you succeed, we will all be happier.

meanwhile, at borders: thank you. you get it. at least your representation in my world does.

and finally, to the check-out lady at target who kept calling me “sexy-legs.” thank you, now please stop it. my legs are not sexy. and if they were, this was neither the time nor the place to discuss them. i just wanted to buy a fan. it was a nice day. i wore shorts. i will not be doing that at target for a long time.

creepy.