know your surroundings

the pushiness.

the yelling.

the shoving.

the palpable anger.

yep, i'm back in the states.

(sidenote: if you are a first-time visitor to our country and your entry point is boston, i sincerely apologize on behalf of my 2.7ish million other countrypersons. do not judge us by the chaos and disorder that is logan airport. there are some nice parts too.)

anyway, in this edition i will attempt to dissect the cues that let you know that you are, in fact, back in the good old u.s. of a.

1) if the sports talk in the line at customs is ANYTHING other than soccer or tennis, you are no longer in england, you are in the u.s. honestly, i had forgotten that baseball was still going on. not mention the fact that i fully expected the nba finals to still be playing out. what a difference 3 weeks makes.

2) the headline on bbc news this morning as i left the hotel: the israeli troops in the gaza strip. the "story of the day" on cnn at logan: some earthen dam in maryland that might break.

3) apparently there is a war of some kind going on. i'll be darned if any one in europe knows about it.

4) keep reminding yourself: "look LEFT before crossing the street." new habits are fast and easy to make apparently.

5) if you buy something for say, $4, and don't have to worry about the fact that it is actually costing you $8, you are safely back in the states.

6) wait, they make a dollar BILL? out of paper? huh.

7) are there commercials every 5 minutes on your tv? you are in america.

(more to come)

alright this time i AM gloating

and i quote:

Dear Mr. Cade,

We are delighted to host you for the first day of Wimbledon. Please use the enclosed pass to enter the grounds at the All-England Lawn and Tennis Club. Once inside, make your way to gate H at Court No. 1 to pick up your ticket.

We thank you for your interest and hope you enjoy your day.

Sincerely,
"Joe" VPBME, "Giant-Global-Credit-Card-Company"



ha! pinch me. i can't believe it.

word.

a note to british (and american) youth

it is with great sorrow that i have noticed lately in my excursions through the streets of chester, england and (oddly) newark, delaware, your confusing penchant to wear collared (or "polo") shirts with the collar either partially or entirely "up."

STOP IT!! STOP IT!! STOP IT!! STOP IT!! STOP IT!! STOP IT!!

seriously, it was hideous in the '80's it's even worse now.

you are not "cool."

you are not "hip."

you are hacks. hacks with horrible fashion sense and even worse sense of pop culture history.

here's a lesson:

-80's music = awesome

-80's fashion = embarassing

-the revival of "80's-inspired" music = welcome

-the revival of "80's-inspired" clothing trends = apocalyptic

class dismissed.

please for the love of peter, paul and mary, DO NOT go down this road. you are the youth of the world. make your own decisions. don't become an instant anachronism. you deserve better.

to your credit, i have yet to see any of you wear the completely unacceptable "double" polo with collar up that was viewed in the window of a boutique that will remain nameless. some things are better left un-advertized.

if you start tight-rolling your jeans...well, may God have mercy on your souls.

please. just stop. i am begging. and i don't like begging.

a night at the races

the chester races - tuesday, june 13th - 6.45p


the event: monica, lauren and i (in a borrowed tie and coat no less) at the races.


the bet: race no. 3. £5.00 to win on #2 Transvestite at 5-2. (because, honestly, how can you NOT put money on a horse named Transvestite?)


winner: #3 Lucayan Dancer; show: #7 Prime Contender; place: #4 Wester Lodge. (not pictured and in last place: #2 Transvestite; stupid transvestite.)

(also not pictured, race no. 4. £2.00 to win on #12 Dhaular Dahr at 7-1. winner: #12 Dhaular Dahr. total winnings: £16.00. i can't pronounce the horse's name, but i won't forget it. well, maybe i will.)



up next, braving a local pub during tomorrow night's england v trinidad & tobago world cup match.

the return of "twinkle twinkle little star." the cade factor is alive and well and living in europe

october 1999.
american airlines flight, boston to milan.
toddler with a musical rattle playing "twinkle twinkle little star" over and over for the duration of the 7 hour flight.

such things are the groundwork of the cade factor.

fast forward to yesterday.

june 2006
britsh airways flight, boston to london.
toddler with....something...playing a dying version of "twinkle."

naturally.

fortunately, this time 'round the annoyance was limited to the waiting area. as soon as we boarded, the offending family was banished to the dregs of "coach" while i rode in style in the finest business class in the world.

perhaps i spoke too soon. let me back up. ...while i WAS SUPPOSED TO RIDE in the finest business class in the world. you see, despite all the info i had saying i was b-class, the airline thought otherwise. unfortunately, i didn't realize this until well after i checked in at logan. i asked the gate agent if i was just crazy and if there was anything that could be done. she looked. "ah, well, you are booked 'world traveler plus'. but you are booked business class from london to manchester."

"so, i am in business class for the 35 minute flight, but not the 6 hour one?"

"that's correct." *

"awesome."

needless to say this, combined with everyone's favorite kiddie song, ensured me i was in for a long day.

but, save the usual minor things, i was wrong.

as it turns out, 'world traveler plus' is the equivalent of economy plus, and on a brand new BA 777, that's a pretty damn good seat. despite being only one of 2 possible middle seats (see chart below **) the ride was extremely comfortable.

and for those who don't know. as far as the hotel in which am staying is concerned, let's just say that i love my job.

as for last week, sorry for no updates. all i can say now is that ottawa, canada was as pleasant of an experience as i could have hoped for. i suggest you visit sometime.



peace.



* - the london to manchester flight was no different than any other domestic 737 or A319 flight. (think southwest without the cattle call). in other words, even though my ticket clearly read "business class," there was no distinguished cabin and i was crammed over the wing next to a couple who seemed silently fascinated with every single move i made. thank goodness it was only 40 minutes.

** chart - XX| |XXCX| |XX; where "X" = a seat and "C" = cade.

an inner-office from the management at cadeland

hi·a·tus (n.)
pl. hi·a·tus·es or hiatus

A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break: "We are likely to be disconcerted by . . . hiatuses of thought"

due to some remarkable and unavoidable circumstances that are just a hair more fortuitous than dubious, the management of "the complaining annex" (a subsidiary of "cadeland") feel obligated to announce to you, the adoring public, that activity found within these pages will, for the duration of at least 3 weeks and with the possibility of extension up to 6 weeks, be limited to what is being referred as a "bare minimum." this comes as a direct result of the need to expand our services to the international market.

it is our hope to continue providing meaningful and socially motivating commentary during the coming hiatus, but any and all posts during this period should be considered "bonus." please DO NOT expect posts and you, the adoring public, will be pleasantly surprised if and when one appears.

this hiatus also affects other subsidiary companies of "cadeland" that include but are not limited to record stores, sport-franchise loss statistics firms and partner comment generators.

we would like to thank you, the adoring public, for the opportunity to serve. we will be back in form soon. please take care of yourselves, and each other.

-mgmt






in other words, i'm going to europe for work. see you all in july.

but probably sooner.