the first annual cadeland skymall awards

despite all its woes, i love to fly. i enjoy the solace. i'm fascinated by people confined in small spaces and enjoy gaging others' reactions to the adversity that innately comes with air travel. but, as my loyal readers can attest, i have the occasional "issue" with flying and many airports tend to seek me out to force me to stop leaving home altogether.

every once in a while, though, i have a seamless and smooth trip. it's these times that i like to sit back and enjoy the fine literature that our major airlines provide for us, the weary travelers.

and it is in this spirit that i present: the first annual cadeland skymall awards.

what follows are my selections of outstanding (for good or for bad) items from the current issue of everybody's favorite, worthless catalog.

without further ado.

first up, the "i just can't help but laugh at the thought of someone acutally using this" award goes to... the hidden cat box.

the highly anticipated "as pointless as it is annoying" award should be a product that is as pointless as it is annoying in both concept and practicality. the winner (easily) is this alarm clock.

honorable mention goes to this little doozie.

the "worst interpretation of an overused cliche" award is a lofty award that demands a very specific set of criteria. this year, the honor goes to this desktop gem.

the "finally, the perfect gift for the dumbest person you have ever met" award goes to this wonder of intellectual forethought.

in the artistic categories, we have the "cade's favorite picture regardless of the product" award. the inaugural winner is this picture of a cat.

honorable mention goes to this picture..

rounding out the artistic awards is the "best name for a product NOT called the 'rat zapper'" award. there was a tie in this category. between this and this.

the coveted "that's actually kinda cool and i want one" award goes to the classic travel vest.

next up, the "not in my house, mister" award goes to this creepfest.

what child WOULDN'T want to be seen with the winner of this year's "it's so stylish, my child won't even know they are being tracked" award? view the winner here.

in the technical categories, we have this, the "it really makes you wonder how they recorded the sound effects" award. this year's stand out winner is the crib light.

the "???" award goes to this coffee table.

in a similar category, the "WTF???" award goes to this coat rack.

this year's winner in the always competitive "great idea, but what if you need to use both at the same time" award is this well thought out item.

and finally we have the "if i actually ever see one of these...i WILL hit it with my car" award. the winner, by a landslide, is this decorative hitch cover.

congratulations to all of this year's winners. we don't know where we would be without you.

lost update

looks like jin will be the next to die.

What is it about these actors and hawaii?

idiots.

memo to bustedtees.com

for your consideration:

the copa room's final curtain

joey bishop died today at the age of 89.

for those of you who don't know, bishop, a comedian, owned the dubious task of playing straight-man to the likes of frank sinatra, dean martin, sammy davis jr. and peter lawford in sinatra's unmistakable and incomparable band of bums, "the summit" (aka "the rat pack").

while far less known and respected than the others, joey was nonetheless part of a piece of american pop culture as big as elvis, marilyn monroe and john wayne.

he was the last surviving member of "the rat pack." and with him dies one of the coolest eras in our collective conscience. an era that can NEVER be replicated. massively talented guys who made the world their playground and made no apologies for having the time of their lives.

fortunately for us, we were invited along for the ride.

even the place they made famous, the fabled sands hotel, is now an italian-themed mega-resort rising high above the las vegas desert. joey was the last remaining link to that hey-day...and he will be missed.

goodnight you old son of a gun.

wonderings and realizations

i have to wonder if the folks at TBS had to collectively sleep with the entire organization known as major league baseball in order to secure the rights to broadcast HALF of the series in this year's playoffs; leaving only 3 (including, mercifully, the world series) series to air on non-cable, network television (if one could still consider FOX a network). it's not quite the NBA finals on TNT or the stanley cup on Spike, but it still sucks.

i have to wonder whether my falling away as a fan of the sport of football has passed the proverbial "bingo fuel" point. given that i haven't seen a chiefs game in over 2 years and the jayhawks are 5-0 and ranked in the top 25...and i don't really care*, if i turned back now and worked my way back to being a fan...would i be successful? or have i gone too far down the "apathy way?"

i have to wonder, with all of the seemingly good movies coming out this fall, how the game plan managed to take the top box office spot in the country....TWO WEEKS IN A ROW.



but, i realize that none of these wonderings matter.

because of this.



* - i love that they are having success and i will root for them....if i ever get to actually watch a game. which, living in new england, won't happen for a long, long time.

ten things i hate

1) hearing the hall and oates classic rich girl on an oldies radio station
2) this
3) the fact that i actually watched the ENTIRE premiere of cavemen
4) the mets
5) it's october 4th...and i'm sweating
6) this
7) confetti
8) the yankees
9) the price of christmas flights
10) racism