the first annual cadeland skymall awards
despite all its woes, i love to fly. i enjoy the solace. i'm fascinated by people confined in small spaces and enjoy gaging others' reactions to the adversity that innately comes with air travel. but, as my loyal readers can attest, i have the occasional "issue" with flying and many airports tend to seek me out to force me to stop leaving home altogether.
every once in a while, though, i have a seamless and smooth trip. it's these times that i like to sit back and enjoy the fine literature that our major airlines provide for us, the weary travelers.
and it is in this spirit that i present: the first annual cadeland skymall awards.
what follows are my selections of outstanding (for good or for bad) items from the current issue of everybody's favorite, worthless catalog.
without further ado.
first up, the "i just can't help but laugh at the thought of someone acutally using this" award goes to... the hidden cat box.
the highly anticipated "as pointless as it is annoying" award should be a product that is as pointless as it is annoying in both concept and practicality. the winner (easily) is this alarm clock.
honorable mention goes to this little doozie.
the "worst interpretation of an overused cliche" award is a lofty award that demands a very specific set of criteria. this year, the honor goes to this desktop gem.
the "finally, the perfect gift for the dumbest person you have ever met" award goes to this wonder of intellectual forethought.
in the artistic categories, we have the "cade's favorite picture regardless of the product" award. the inaugural winner is this picture of a cat.
honorable mention goes to this picture..
rounding out the artistic awards is the "best name for a product NOT called the 'rat zapper'" award. there was a tie in this category. between this and this.
the coveted "that's actually kinda cool and i want one" award goes to the classic travel vest.
next up, the "not in my house, mister" award goes to this creepfest.
what child WOULDN'T want to be seen with the winner of this year's "it's so stylish, my child won't even know they are being tracked" award? view the winner here.
in the technical categories, we have this, the "it really makes you wonder how they recorded the sound effects" award. this year's stand out winner is the crib light.
the "???" award goes to this coffee table.
in a similar category, the "WTF???" award goes to this coat rack.
this year's winner in the always competitive "great idea, but what if you need to use both at the same time" award is this well thought out item.
and finally we have the "if i actually ever see one of these...i WILL hit it with my car" award. the winner, by a landslide, is this decorative hitch cover.
congratulations to all of this year's winners. we don't know where we would be without you.
every once in a while, though, i have a seamless and smooth trip. it's these times that i like to sit back and enjoy the fine literature that our major airlines provide for us, the weary travelers.
and it is in this spirit that i present: the first annual cadeland skymall awards.
what follows are my selections of outstanding (for good or for bad) items from the current issue of everybody's favorite, worthless catalog.
without further ado.
first up, the "i just can't help but laugh at the thought of someone acutally using this" award goes to... the hidden cat box.
the highly anticipated "as pointless as it is annoying" award should be a product that is as pointless as it is annoying in both concept and practicality. the winner (easily) is this alarm clock.
honorable mention goes to this little doozie.
the "worst interpretation of an overused cliche" award is a lofty award that demands a very specific set of criteria. this year, the honor goes to this desktop gem.
the "finally, the perfect gift for the dumbest person you have ever met" award goes to this wonder of intellectual forethought.
in the artistic categories, we have the "cade's favorite picture regardless of the product" award. the inaugural winner is this picture of a cat.
honorable mention goes to this picture..
rounding out the artistic awards is the "best name for a product NOT called the 'rat zapper'" award. there was a tie in this category. between this and this.
the coveted "that's actually kinda cool and i want one" award goes to the classic travel vest.
next up, the "not in my house, mister" award goes to this creepfest.
what child WOULDN'T want to be seen with the winner of this year's "it's so stylish, my child won't even know they are being tracked" award? view the winner here.
in the technical categories, we have this, the "it really makes you wonder how they recorded the sound effects" award. this year's stand out winner is the crib light.
the "???" award goes to this coffee table.
in a similar category, the "WTF???" award goes to this coat rack.
this year's winner in the always competitive "great idea, but what if you need to use both at the same time" award is this well thought out item.
and finally we have the "if i actually ever see one of these...i WILL hit it with my car" award. the winner, by a landslide, is this decorative hitch cover.
congratulations to all of this year's winners. we don't know where we would be without you.
posted by cade at 7:55 AM
7 Comments:
there are some real gems in there. i wonder how many homicides were indirectly caused by the runaway clock.
you all should get some brown slankets and use them for the confession booth.
and that wrist band for kids looks like a mini house arest bracelet. or one of those invisable fences for dogs. "for the tyke who needs extra supervision." "mommy can i go play in the yard" "sure hun, just don't go past the side walk or you know what will happen!" ZAP!
I have one of those vests, I got one like 8 years ago. They are made by a company called ScottEvest, or some such spelling. They have vests, cargo pants, hats, and all have tons of weird hidden pockets to stuff things in. The weight of them isn't even that bad when you load up say, all 24 pockets. They are pretty cool, actually.
I mistakenly shared this post with my wife, and now she wants a slanket
Thank you Cadeland!!!
I really enjoyed that, Cade, and the people around me in the JCCC computer lab know it, too.
Those slankets are pretty cool, albeit unfortunately named.
The Scott eVest would have been my pick for you, too, Cade. I've been thinking of getting one for myself, branded with the logo of one of my favorite tech podcasts. But they're darned expensive.
I am laughing SO HARD my sides hurt! This is hilarious. The white cat laying on his back looks just like our cat cowboy...he's famous!
At least those hitch animals aren't as annoying as "Truck Balls". Have you seen those? Makes me want to punch something.
Cade: I think you have a good idea going here. Can we just send you catalogs and have you write about the items?
Better yet, why don't you register with skymall for your wedding?
"Better yet, why don't you register with skymall for your wedding?"
best idea i've heard in a long time. what d'ya think beck?
deal.
But the Harry Potter replica letter opener is for me.
Post a Comment
<< Home