dear FOX network,

i know we have had our differences in the past. heck, we really haven't spoken for a year and a half. i am not, by any means, cutting back on my criticism of your programming choices. they are, and will remain for the foreseeable future...ass.

however, i have come across what i believe is a suitable and promising compromise that would benefit both of our camps. simply, all you need to do FOX, is this:

please, send a camera crew into prison with paris hilton. call it the next installment of the simple life. it will be FAR better than this crappy "camp" version you have coming up. think of it, 23 days of everyones's favorite* heiress huddled in the corner of her cell, rocking back and forth, mumbling "how can this happen to ME? i'm rich." over and over again while she waits for the weekly delousing and imminent "laundry-room rendezvous."

i would watch that. not only would i watch that, i would tivo it AND buy the DVD when it came out.

you have an opportunity here, FOX. an opportunity to not only create much-needed quality television, but to also win back the heart of a once-loyal viewer. you can do the right thing.

i await your decision.

regards,
cade


* - this is not true. everyone's favorite heiress is (or should be) her