it's that time of year again...
it's time for the annual "has america REALLY come to this" fest known as FALL TELEVISION LINE-UP ANNOUNCEMENTS.
leading the way this year was NBC. the peacock showed that it was, indeed, a desperate whore and released a paltry selection of heroes spin-offs (playing off their ONLY current hit) and rehashes of old shows (playing off...well, the fact that they have no idea what they are doing any more.) they are offering only one new comedy which will last all of 5 weeks and eventually america's brain-dead obsession with garbage will kill off the only witty shows on NBC, the office and 30 rock.
RUNDOWN (NBC):
origins - a spin-off of the popular heroes that will allow the audience to determine what characters continue in the stories. yes, let's combine trite drama with reality television. brilliant. F
bionic woman - yep, you read it right. F
lipstick jungle - just one of 3 sex and the city knock-offs this fall. fortunately, this one is actually written by candace bushnell. but, i hated the original and sequels usually suck. F
chuck - something about a guy with classified data downloaded into his brain. F
the IT crowd - get it? it's "it" but it's also I.T. as in "nick burns: your company's computer guy: the series." thankfully, withOUT jimmy fallon. F
spin-offs of shows that are barely able to feed themselves isn't just a trend at NBC. apparently, ABC has made it their goal to have me kill myself by giving us private practice. aka, grey's anatomy: los angeles. of course, they win, hands down, the early battle of inanity by this little sentence pulled from a recent press release. and i quote: "ABC also gave the go-ahead to "Cavemen," a comedy adapted from the Geico insurance commercials."
RUNDOWN (ABC):
pushing daisies - csi meets the sixth sense. F
cahsmere mafia and women's murder club - both billed as "sex and the city meets whatever." producer darren starr (of the ACTUAL sex and the city) is apparently involved in one of them. you will have to let me know which it is, cause he hasn't had a hit in like a millenia. F, F
dirty sexy money - it just SOUNDS enticing doesn't it? F
ABC, at least, is offering a LOT of new shows. i won't go into them here. i'm too busy preparing for cavemen.
over at CBS, well, they are just plain crazy:
RUNDOWN (CBS):
moonlight - a vampire crime drama. F
babylon fields - a zombie comedy drama. D-
the man - an ll cool j drama. F
cane - a "latin-family" drama starring jimmysmits. P
the big bang theory - a comedy starring kaley cuoco. F-
viva laughlin - a musical, mystery drama taking place in a casino in laughlin, nevada. and really, who doesn't want to see that? F
as for FOX. well, they haven't released their line-up yet, but you can only imagine that it will be chock full of idol and 24 rip-offs. don't let me down, FOX. don't let me down.
more to come i am sure.
leading the way this year was NBC. the peacock showed that it was, indeed, a desperate whore and released a paltry selection of heroes spin-offs (playing off their ONLY current hit) and rehashes of old shows (playing off...well, the fact that they have no idea what they are doing any more.) they are offering only one new comedy which will last all of 5 weeks and eventually america's brain-dead obsession with garbage will kill off the only witty shows on NBC, the office and 30 rock.
RUNDOWN (NBC):
origins - a spin-off of the popular heroes that will allow the audience to determine what characters continue in the stories. yes, let's combine trite drama with reality television. brilliant. F
bionic woman - yep, you read it right. F
lipstick jungle - just one of 3 sex and the city knock-offs this fall. fortunately, this one is actually written by candace bushnell. but, i hated the original and sequels usually suck. F
chuck - something about a guy with classified data downloaded into his brain. F
the IT crowd - get it? it's "it" but it's also I.T. as in "nick burns: your company's computer guy: the series." thankfully, withOUT jimmy fallon. F
spin-offs of shows that are barely able to feed themselves isn't just a trend at NBC. apparently, ABC has made it their goal to have me kill myself by giving us private practice. aka, grey's anatomy: los angeles. of course, they win, hands down, the early battle of inanity by this little sentence pulled from a recent press release. and i quote: "ABC also gave the go-ahead to "Cavemen," a comedy adapted from the Geico insurance commercials."
RUNDOWN (ABC):
pushing daisies - csi meets the sixth sense. F
cahsmere mafia and women's murder club - both billed as "sex and the city meets whatever." producer darren starr (of the ACTUAL sex and the city) is apparently involved in one of them. you will have to let me know which it is, cause he hasn't had a hit in like a millenia. F, F
dirty sexy money - it just SOUNDS enticing doesn't it? F
ABC, at least, is offering a LOT of new shows. i won't go into them here. i'm too busy preparing for cavemen.
over at CBS, well, they are just plain crazy:
RUNDOWN (CBS):
moonlight - a vampire crime drama. F
babylon fields - a zombie comedy drama. D-
the man - an ll cool j drama. F
cane - a "latin-family" drama starring jimmysmits. P
the big bang theory - a comedy starring kaley cuoco. F-
viva laughlin - a musical, mystery drama taking place in a casino in laughlin, nevada. and really, who doesn't want to see that? F
as for FOX. well, they haven't released their line-up yet, but you can only imagine that it will be chock full of idol and 24 rip-offs. don't let me down, FOX. don't let me down.
more to come i am sure.
posted by cade at 7:30 AM
17 Comments:
How does Kaley Cuoco have a job?
i wish i knew. so that i could fix it.
My money's on bionic woman. You just wait, we're laughing our asses off now, but you know everyone and their dog is going to be talking about "last night's episode" once it airs. It's be the next Saved by the Bell for our generation. Everyone will see right through it for the crap that it is, while in full admittance of their watching it.
great reviews by the way cade. as always, i'm laughing heartily over here.
By the way, what's with the 'P' after Cane? Pass?
yep. "P" for pass. i thought about giving it a "W" but jimmysmits deserves a break every now and again.
NBC renewed FNL, so in my eyes they can do no wrong.
Go Panthers!
i am still bummed studio sixty isn't coming back. i mean, yeah everyone but me hated it i guess.
I loved Studio 60. Apparently so did a lot of people, but mostly not the same folks that love Heroes (though I love both). So instead of trying it on a night people would watch, they just gave up on it. Me, I'd send ER to the Sunday night graveyard (or just kill it--the triage nurse just isn't doing her job correctly), put Crossing Jordan after Heroes on Monday night, and Studio 60 at the 9pm Central Thursday night slot. Then I would be NBC's bithc (intentionally misspelled) on Mondays and Thursdays. But apparently it's just me, 'cuz they cancelled Crossing Jordan, too...
didn't care for studio 60. sorkin has gotten sloppy.
all that matters is that friday is bingo night!
Did you see Jericho got the ax?? :)
nooooooo! think of all the questions that will go unanswered about that little town in colorado...er, i mean....kansas?
can corn REALLY cure all social ills?
will they ever run out of booze?
will hawkins just go ahead and kill everyone?
will mayor dad and superskeet find work?
tragic.
I was waiting for someone to mention bingo night. Who thought of that one? Almost as good as coming up with a prime time slot for Heads Up Seven Up.
hey, i'm fine with bingo night. what i am not fine with is that they make it look like EVERY OTHER "game show" that's on right now....including a howie mandel look-a-like.
bingo is not cool. trying to make it cool makes it even more uncool. they should embrace it's inherent uncool-ness. THEN it would be entertaining.
I was sort of looking forward to your post about CBS' new fabulous reality show Kid Nation. Was it too much for your heart to bear? Truly exceptional and inspired (or is that insipid?) programming.
Description (sorry for the length):
KID NATION is a reality-based series in which 40 kids will have 40 days to build a new world - in a ghost town that died in the 19th Century. These kids, ages 8-15, will spend more than a month without their parents or modern comforts in Bonanza City, N.M., attempting to do what their forefathers could not - build a town that works. They will cook their own meals, clean their own outhouses, haul their own water and even run their own businesses - including the old town saloon (root beer only). They'll also create a real government - four kid leaders who will guide the group through their adventure, pass laws and set bedtimes. Through it all, they'll cope with regular childhood emotions and situations: homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule they've ever known. At the end of each episode, all 40 kids will gather at an old fashioned Town Hall meeting where they will debate the issues facing Bonanza City. They'll show wisdom beyond their years and the unflinching candor that only kids can exhibit. There are no eliminations on KID NATION - you only go home if you want to. And in every Town Hall meeting, kids may raise their hands and leave.
So in other words, it's Exchange City (on crack). Anybody else have to/get to do that in 5th grade? I was the 'editor' of the handwritten, mimeographed 'newspaper'.
honestly, i didn't see that in the original article. i saw it after the post. i think it looks intriguing. i won't watch it...but it looks intriguing.
as for the exchange city nod. we did it. i was the city manager. i embezzled a lot of money that day.
and gina (aka "turbo") gave me a "ticket" for chewing gum. i never let her forget it.
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