another instant classic

well, the first major winter storm of the season has marched its way across our country's mid section and you guessed it....

i flew right into the heart of it.

despite the initial cancellation of my flight from boston to dallas (and the supsequent 5 hour wait at at logan) my trip started off pretty uneventful. in fact, given the horrible weather in dallas and my destination, oklahoma city, the trip (though several hours later) was moving along just fine.

until we landed in oklahoma city.

ok, so here's the scenario. american airlines decided it was a good idea to fly into OKC in the aftermath of one of the biggest snow/ice storms they have had in several years. what we encountered when we arrived was as close as i ever want to come to a post-apocalyptic civilization. basically, the power had been knocked out at the airport. like OUT out. the emergency generators were keeping most everything lit to a degree, but there were no escalators. no baggage carousels. no auto-flush toilets. and sure as heck, no jet bridges.

suffice it to say, i now know what it is like to use the emergency aft staircase on a super 80 aircraft. and what's better, i know what it's like to use said stairs and then tromp through 100 yards of snow and ice...under the wing. so now i can say i've done that. though i was a little dissappointed that we couldn't inflate the emergency slides and jump out. maybe next time.

anyway, we got inside and what followed was a lesson in teamwork (myself naturally NOT included) as passengers pitched in and helped the baggage crew sort through the bags. after several unsuccessful waves, my bag finally showed up and i was off to find a cab driver crazy enough to take me to norman in this mess.

and there you have it. as you all know, it's never boring when i fly. and that's why it's called "fun with cade in airports.

incidentally, as if i needed ANOTHER reason to hate DFW, they have now installed these:



that's right, you now get the "convenient" opportunity to PAY to plug your portables (laptops, phone chargers, etc.) in. not to mention the various uber-vending machines (moto razrs, i-pods, l'oreal) or the busted sky link trams.

man, i hate that place.

musical armageddon

Nickelback Bags Billboard Nods

let's see:

-nickelback leads all artists with most nominations
-britney spears is hosting
-paris hilton is co-hosting
-daniel powter's "bad day" is up for "hot single of the year"
-james blunt is nominated for "rock album of the year"

yep, i officially want NOTHING to do with pop music. you couldn't pay me a million dollars to watch this shite.

and they have the absolute nerve to "honor" tony bennett at this thing. if i were tony, i would take a sip of whiskey, calmly flip the bird and go up the strip to the bellagio and shoot some craps.

anger doesn't begin to describe....

ways to combat boredom

#14

drive to your local sprint/verizon/tmobile/whatever store and take random pictures of people or things or nothing on the newest, lovely camera phone models.

the funnier and more random the pictures...the better the reactions of the people in your head will be.

that's all.

just when you thought it was safe...

it's "fun with cade in airports: the napoleon complex edition"

NOTE - i apologize in advance as this post will not be full of the normal chaos and nuttiness that usually occupies a good f.w.c.i.a. segment. instead, i simply want to offer up an observation of mine.

there is no love lost between yours truly and the government institution known as the TSA (ne. the transportaion security administration). but honestly, i believe that the animosity does not lie in the national adminstration, but rather...the local ones.

i have noticed something about airport security in my travels that perplexes me. it perplexes me in the same way that a hairless, rat-of-a-dog like a chihuahua barks at you and expects you to recoil in fear.

quite simply: why do smaller and relatively insignificant airports have the most ridiculously over-amped security measures?

why is it that when one flies through..say (and i'm just grasping at examples here) charleston south carolina's rinky dink little airport on a morning much like today (hypothetically, of course) that one encounters extra security measures like a fully-unpacked-baggage-search or the dreaded, "sir, can you step over here for additional screening?"

my theory is that the smaller, less-busy airports have less to do and therefore devote more of their resources to keeping us all safe. i feel that they pass the time (in the name of security) by finding ways that they can "help" that is within their respective budget.

basically, they want to feel important.

i have had my entire bag unpacked (before i even left the ticket counter, mind you) at places like charleston, harlingen texas and omaha nebraska. all MAJOR entries to our fair country no doubt. but i suspect that when it is easier to accidentally walk through security at a busy airport like boston's logan with a full set of keys in your pocket (again, hypothetically) and not set off the metal detector than it is to get a claim tag on your suitcase in charleston....well, call me crazy, but something just seems askew with the system.

but the worst offender may be my old stomping grounds, kansas city international. there, if you are flying in the middle of the day and are one of the, say, 10 passengers in the entire terminal, you can count on two guarantees: 1) that you will NOT find suitable food on the other side of security and 2) you WILL get pulled aside for "additional" screening. i mean the 8 TSA employees they have working each checkpoint have to keep busy somehow.

so, why do these little guys flex their muscles and bark louder than the big hubs where the problems would be more likely to, and HAVE happened?

are the terrorists really gonna get to us through omaha?

i just think it's odd.

o.j. simpson has gone too far.

and shame on you FOX for going along with it.

i know i don't need to tell my faithful readers NOT to watch this.....but do NOT watch this.

people who think they are funny

in my short amount of time toiling for this online service provider, i have encountered a fascinating occurance.

people are starting to figure out what this search engine is all about....and some of them are having fun with it.

a lot of fun.

here is a partial list of some of my favorite "search terms" that have come my way in the past few days:

-is god real

-nambla *

-how can brown people get equal rights

-make a bomb

-velociraptor attack

-male breast implants

-i think i just killed a guy

-why do women deserve to vote

-hey melinda, last night was great!

-how can i stop being gay?

and

-poopoo


* - i actually took this one...and, being the utmost professional i am, gave the guy more info on the organization than he EVER would have wanted to know.

another reason why i love the internets

if you understand any of this article...

Will the real Borat please stand up?


...then by all means, enjoy.

if not. this may be all the background you need.


i can't believe i forgot about this guy.

too pressing to not do it

in honor/reaction to this, i offer up a question:

what are the best (and by "best" i mean "most memorable" - for good or bad) keyboard hooks ever (and by "ever" i mean "of the '80s" - 'cause, as anyone with any common sense should know, the keyboard should be relegated solely to that particular time period)?

for me? (in no particular order) *

1) "take on me" by a-ha

2) "obsession" by animotion

3) "the final countdown" by europe

4) "separate ways (worlds apart)" by journey

5) "funky town" by pseudo echo **

what others?

* - list was hastily thrown together. omissions are probable and there are no regrets

** - cheating i know. but the lipps inc. version came out in the '70s and i have to stick to my rules.

we'll be right back.

there's some wacked hooey going on in my head right now. most of which i don't know how to express.

i'll be back to the typical, inane banter you all love shortly.