just when you thought it was safe...
it's "fun with cade in airports: the napoleon complex edition"
NOTE - i apologize in advance as this post will not be full of the normal chaos and nuttiness that usually occupies a good f.w.c.i.a. segment. instead, i simply want to offer up an observation of mine.
there is no love lost between yours truly and the government institution known as the TSA (ne. the transportaion security administration). but honestly, i believe that the animosity does not lie in the national adminstration, but rather...the local ones.
i have noticed something about airport security in my travels that perplexes me. it perplexes me in the same way that a hairless, rat-of-a-dog like a chihuahua barks at you and expects you to recoil in fear.
quite simply: why do smaller and relatively insignificant airports have the most ridiculously over-amped security measures?
why is it that when one flies through..say (and i'm just grasping at examples here) charleston south carolina's rinky dink little airport on a morning much like today (hypothetically, of course) that one encounters extra security measures like a fully-unpacked-baggage-search or the dreaded, "sir, can you step over here for additional screening?"
my theory is that the smaller, less-busy airports have less to do and therefore devote more of their resources to keeping us all safe. i feel that they pass the time (in the name of security) by finding ways that they can "help" that is within their respective budget.
basically, they want to feel important.
i have had my entire bag unpacked (before i even left the ticket counter, mind you) at places like charleston, harlingen texas and omaha nebraska. all MAJOR entries to our fair country no doubt. but i suspect that when it is easier to accidentally walk through security at a busy airport like boston's logan with a full set of keys in your pocket (again, hypothetically) and not set off the metal detector than it is to get a claim tag on your suitcase in charleston....well, call me crazy, but something just seems askew with the system.
but the worst offender may be my old stomping grounds, kansas city international. there, if you are flying in the middle of the day and are one of the, say, 10 passengers in the entire terminal, you can count on two guarantees: 1) that you will NOT find suitable food on the other side of security and 2) you WILL get pulled aside for "additional" screening. i mean the 8 TSA employees they have working each checkpoint have to keep busy somehow.
so, why do these little guys flex their muscles and bark louder than the big hubs where the problems would be more likely to, and HAVE happened?
are the terrorists really gonna get to us through omaha?
i just think it's odd.
NOTE - i apologize in advance as this post will not be full of the normal chaos and nuttiness that usually occupies a good f.w.c.i.a. segment. instead, i simply want to offer up an observation of mine.
there is no love lost between yours truly and the government institution known as the TSA (ne. the transportaion security administration). but honestly, i believe that the animosity does not lie in the national adminstration, but rather...the local ones.
i have noticed something about airport security in my travels that perplexes me. it perplexes me in the same way that a hairless, rat-of-a-dog like a chihuahua barks at you and expects you to recoil in fear.
quite simply: why do smaller and relatively insignificant airports have the most ridiculously over-amped security measures?
why is it that when one flies through..say (and i'm just grasping at examples here) charleston south carolina's rinky dink little airport on a morning much like today (hypothetically, of course) that one encounters extra security measures like a fully-unpacked-baggage-search or the dreaded, "sir, can you step over here for additional screening?"
my theory is that the smaller, less-busy airports have less to do and therefore devote more of their resources to keeping us all safe. i feel that they pass the time (in the name of security) by finding ways that they can "help" that is within their respective budget.
basically, they want to feel important.
i have had my entire bag unpacked (before i even left the ticket counter, mind you) at places like charleston, harlingen texas and omaha nebraska. all MAJOR entries to our fair country no doubt. but i suspect that when it is easier to accidentally walk through security at a busy airport like boston's logan with a full set of keys in your pocket (again, hypothetically) and not set off the metal detector than it is to get a claim tag on your suitcase in charleston....well, call me crazy, but something just seems askew with the system.
but the worst offender may be my old stomping grounds, kansas city international. there, if you are flying in the middle of the day and are one of the, say, 10 passengers in the entire terminal, you can count on two guarantees: 1) that you will NOT find suitable food on the other side of security and 2) you WILL get pulled aside for "additional" screening. i mean the 8 TSA employees they have working each checkpoint have to keep busy somehow.
so, why do these little guys flex their muscles and bark louder than the big hubs where the problems would be more likely to, and HAVE happened?
are the terrorists really gonna get to us through omaha?
i just think it's odd.
posted by cade at 12:06 PM
10 Comments:
I wonder if the little airports are following the real rules and the bigger ones aren't doing so as well because of the large crowds... which is counterproductive but par for the course.
You do have awful luck though, there's no denying that one.
At least you've never been brought into the little room with the guys wearing gloves...I would hope anyway.
These guys are like mall security guards-this is the best they can hope for since they are considered having certain deficiencies taking the psych tests to become a real cop or guard of some type.
Ah, Kansas City . . . where i got caught with a toy dart gun in my suit pocket. (pre-9/11).
"...flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know"
and now you're singing the rest...at least you're not thinking about the cade factor anymore!
"...turn off the lights and i'll glow.
to the extreme, i rock a mic like a vandal, light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle."
i don't think about breathing either...but it still happens.
Is it possible to find decent food on the OUTside of the security checkpoints in KCI?? ...and do they even HAVE foodstuffs for sale INside the checkpoints???
CADE!! thanks for finding me!! your blog is freaking HYSTERICAL--especially this post. I completely relate--good old Medford, OR is our closest one (with a whopping TWO gates) and it's ridiculous. i love your ranting and raving :)
and nice site! you've really done a good job here. you make me laugh out loud here at work...well done :)
love you friend! im coming to visit boston in april--you're on my list of people to see!
Cade!! thanks for finding me!! this posting is hysterical--and your page looks GREAT!! well done!
i fully relate to the psycho TSA stuff in small airports. Enough travel and we all get nailed by the small town "i am so important' tsa nazis.
hey i'm coming to boston in april for a wedding--and you are on m ylist of people to see!!
nice blog my old friend--you are keeping me in stitches here at work!! :) well done!!
oops hey i posted twice. i didn't think the first one went thru. oh well...more holly fail to love and read...
now THAT'S comedy.
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