a disillusioned retraction?

so, maybe one curse does cancel another.

it is public knowledge that i carry a sports curse with me everywhere i go. teams that i root for are doomed to fall short of the prize. well, i recently carried that curse with me to the boston area. i published an open apology to the city and fans of boston upon my arrival. an apology that stated that their precious teams were about to suffer at the hand of "the curse of cade."

i apparently retract said apology. i openly un-apologize for the fact that i witnessed the first red sox world series title in 86 years. so, obviously "the curse of cade" has backfired and merely cancelled out the dreaded "curse of the bambino." i am quite literally in disbelief. i can't comprehend that the people running around in the street outside and honking their car horns are actually celebrating a championship. i mean, what the heck does that mean?

of course, that's the biggest reason for the retraction. all the patriots have done is win a measily 21 straight games. (not that i am rooting for them, but it's worth mentioning)

so, at 11:14 pm edt, last night, the sox were the ever-dangerous "5 outs" away from the championship. the moon was shaded in an eerie, red full eclipse. and i waited for the inevitable end of the world, because that seemed the only thing that could stop them from winning. 14 minutes later, it was over. and out into the street we ran.

a few hours and a multiple re-routed trip to my hotel (i'm actually working this week) later, i'm tired. i'm confused. and i silently wish that the jayhawks, chiefs and royals had some sort of curse that i could contradict. but, the real fun is going to be the training session that i get to do for 350 people at 9 am in the morning here at the hilton at boston's logan airport. a session for 350 people who will no doubt be up as long as, if not longer than i am and will more than likely opt to sleep in than come learn with us. the finest exercise in ironic futility.

all in all, congratulations red sox! simply unbelievable.

divine inspiration or distraction?

tonight, i sat in a living room with the new home church i have been introduced to since i arrived in massachusetts. this is a great group. a small group that loves each other, loves the surrounding community, and loves God passionately. in short, it is exactly what i have been needing in my life. and for this i am incredibly grateful.

the problem lies not within the group itself, but rather within my lack of understanding of my own life. allow me to explain.

in recent years i have noticed a trend when i encounter God-centered worship, teaching or any situation where the Holy Spirit is present. the slightest word or phrase from a song, the person speaking, even side conversations will launch a torrent of ideas and thoughts in my head. an exciting and uncontrollable torrent. i'm talking about vivid images, stories, characters, things that i desperately want to communicate with others.

now, given the fact that i would love to be able to tell beautiful stories, whether through film, photograph, song, whatever, and have prayed at length for God to inspire me to be able to legitimatize the passion that i feel He has given me for these things, one would think of this as a good thing. a blessing. trust me, i do. i do consider it a divine method of speaking to my heart and mind. what frustrates me is that i become so consumed within my head of these new, exciting ideas that i completely lose what is happening in the background, and that is, the teaching of God's word. i couldn't tell you a single point that was made in that living room tonight. and not because the guy teaching didn't do a good job, because he certainly did. but, because i can't concentrate on anything else. so, my question is this: when does inspiration become a distraction? a blessing become a burden?

i thank God for giving me such clear inspiration. i curse myself for not being able to do anything with it. (to date, i have finished exactly ZERO stories that i have set out to write.) and i wonder, wouldn't my time be better spent learning from the word instead of getting caught up in daydreams?

just something i have noticed about myself. i will continue to pray for guidance as i have no idea what i am doing. but rest assured, i wrote tonight's idea down.

ten things i hate....

here are the ten things that are just really annoying me right now:

1) people using the term "reverse the curse" ad naseum when talking about the red sox and thinking it's original.

2) the premiere of The Swan II. apparently we haven't learned anything.

3) massachusetts drivers.

4) all the crap that i felt was necessary to bring with me when i moved.

5) Scooter

6) the guy pounding a million nails into the side of the house right outside my window...for 3 weeks now.

7) campaign coverage.

8) the FOX network. (See #2 and #5)

9) massachusetts roads

10) my lack of motivation to do anything other than play xbox or blog.

happy "best day of the year" eve

like a child giddily tossing and turning as he tries to go to sleep the night before christmas, i find myself spending every waking minute that i am able to, reading and searching for articles touting the beginning of the best six month period of the year. that's right. tomorrow is the official opening of the 2004-2005 college basketball season. "midnight madness" as some call it. i simply refer to it as "late night in the PHOG."

as much as i love baseball, and i love baseball. and as much as i enjoy the play-offs (even though the royals haven't so much as thought about the post-season in 19 years) and watching my new adopted team, the red sox try and break that durned curse. (at posting the yankees are up 2-0, and i hate to be pessimistic, but i can't help it) there is NOTHING like college basketball to me. march might well be the best month in all of sports, but it has to begin somewhere. and that somewhere is tomorrow night.

right at midnight, in lawrence kansas, inside historic forrest "phog" allen fieldhouse, second year coach bill self and his boys will begin an adventure that will take the team and the fans through an unbelievable season, culminating with two victories in st. louis the first week in april. now, i am not making a prediction. i don't do that. all i am saying is that the jayhawks are going to be good this year. very good. and this year, nothing short of cutting down the nets at the end of the year will do. they've been on the brink for 4 years now. and it's time.

now, the realistic, grown-up me knows that it is a very difficult task for a team to accomplish. the moment of clarity i encountered when syracuse (i hate the color orange) managed to hang on and rob roy williams of his last chance to ever win a national championship (yeah, i said it) in 2003. i was surrounded by about 100 drunk college kids who were experiencing what me and my friends had years ago for the first time. i saw their reactions and i realized that i was not crushed. i learned that lesson in 1996 the hard way. life goes on. it IS just a game.

that said, this year is going to be awesome. this could be the year that kansas finally gets the national respect it deserves as one of the top 5 programs of all time.

regardless, the jayhawk nation, from massachusetts street to the state of massachusetts will have plenty to cheer about this season. and for seasons to come. and it all begins tomorrow.

merry midnight madness to all. and to all, a good night

"the debate" a new play in one act

lights up on a dark, empty room. two men stand at either end facing each other. each wears a nice suit, has graying hair and possesses an uneasy smile. they speak to a third man sitting in a camping chair in the middle of the room. he is young and looks as if he wishes he were somewhere else. a bell rings.

candidate 1 - welcome, i am happy to be here.

candidate 2 - i am happy to be here.

candidate 1 - if my opponent is happy to be here, then why does he look nervous?

candidate 2 - i am not nervous. i am simply trying to project an emotion other than stupidity.

candidate 1 - stupidity is not an emotion.

candidate 2 - i agree with my opponent. but i do not respect him.

candidate 1 - my opponent would lead you to believe that i cannot be trusted. you can trust me.

candidate 2 - you can't trust my opponent. i am better than him.

candidate 1 - i am better than my opponent. but, i still respect him.

candidate 2 - i respect my opponent. but i do not agree with him.

candidate 1 - my opponent is an idiot, but i would never say that.

candidate 2 - my opponent is spineless, but i would never say that.

candidate 1 - my opponent hates you.

candidate 2 - my opponent just wants to scare your family.

candidate 1 - but, i am better than my opponent.

candidate 2 - my opponent is worse than me.

candidate 1 - i don't know what i am doing.

candidate 2 - i don't how to do anything.

candidate 1 - i am right. he is wrong.

candidate 2 - he is wrong. i am right.

candidate 1 - vote for me.

young man - no.

candidate 2 - vote for ME.

young man - no.

the young man pulls a gameboy from his pocket and begins to play it. the two candidates smile and wave to nobody.

blackout.

to all ad wizards: stop the insanity!

i went shopping today. for things that i need as i settle in to my new apartment. as i stood in the middle of an aisle in our local target, i was suddenly very, very angry. in my right hand i held a tube of "icy blast" toothpaste. in my left hand, a bar of "icy blast" soap. true, they are probably made by the same company and i have heard of toothpaste or mouthwash referred as this, but SOAP? ICY? i don't know about you, but "icy" is the last attribute i want in my bar of soap.

so, i did a little research. and after 2 hours roaming the aisle ways, i discovered that there are a ton of "ice-related" non ice related products. laundry detergent, soft drinks, deodorant, no fewer than 425 different varieties of chewing gum and my favorite, corn chips. but, it doesn't stop with consumables. there were electronics, cd players and cameras that were labeled "ice blue." why the sudden influx of "ice?" it really makes me despise any product that is labeled "ice" or "icy" "or "cool" when it's not.

i've had similar reactions to word choices in the past. in the late 90's i would literally punch the first person i came in contact with every time i saw the word "EXTREME" in front of something. or even worse, "X-treme." a camera that takes 2-inch polaroid prints is not extreme. the only word i hate in advertising more than "X-treme" is "fresh." if it's not food, it's not fresh. or, have you ever heard a certain colorless soft drink referred to as "crisp, clean, and refreshing?"

clean? as opposed to...?

i guess what i am saying is two-fold. first of all: advertisers, think carefully before you throw an unnecessary label on some random product that doesn't fit the description. and second: just because someone else uses an adjective, doesn't mean you will lose your job if YOU don't. if it does mean that you will lose your job, then quit and do something else because that is a terrible existence.

from the "new releases" department

here it is. just released. the official soundtrack from my journey east. it's all here. everything you need to punctuate your very own trip from kansas city to boston, via norfolk, nebraska.

here is the track list:

1. At Least I Got A Car -- Don Chaffer
2. Melt With You -- Modern English
3. Jet Airliner -- Steve Miller Band
4. Counting Blue Cars -- Dishwalla
5. Late In The Evening -- Paul Simon
6. Disease -- The Regulars
7. Take Your Mama -- Scissor Sisters
8. Sunny Side Of The Street -- Frank Sinatra
9. Fraggle Rock Theme Song -- The Fraggles
10. Bad -- U2
11. Open Up Your Eyes -- Tonic
12. Experimental Film -- They Might Be Giants
13. Me In Honey -- R.E.M.
14. A Million Parachutes -- Sixpence None The Richer

throw this album in and run around the block 3,000 times to get really, really tired and you too can come close to what it was like for the last seven days. cheers.