"the debate" a new play in one act

lights up on a dark, empty room. two men stand at either end facing each other. each wears a nice suit, has graying hair and possesses an uneasy smile. they speak to a third man sitting in a camping chair in the middle of the room. he is young and looks as if he wishes he were somewhere else. a bell rings.

candidate 1 - welcome, i am happy to be here.

candidate 2 - i am happy to be here.

candidate 1 - if my opponent is happy to be here, then why does he look nervous?

candidate 2 - i am not nervous. i am simply trying to project an emotion other than stupidity.

candidate 1 - stupidity is not an emotion.

candidate 2 - i agree with my opponent. but i do not respect him.

candidate 1 - my opponent would lead you to believe that i cannot be trusted. you can trust me.

candidate 2 - you can't trust my opponent. i am better than him.

candidate 1 - i am better than my opponent. but, i still respect him.

candidate 2 - i respect my opponent. but i do not agree with him.

candidate 1 - my opponent is an idiot, but i would never say that.

candidate 2 - my opponent is spineless, but i would never say that.

candidate 1 - my opponent hates you.

candidate 2 - my opponent just wants to scare your family.

candidate 1 - but, i am better than my opponent.

candidate 2 - my opponent is worse than me.

candidate 1 - i don't know what i am doing.

candidate 2 - i don't how to do anything.

candidate 1 - i am right. he is wrong.

candidate 2 - he is wrong. i am right.

candidate 1 - vote for me.

young man - no.

candidate 2 - vote for ME.

young man - no.

the young man pulls a gameboy from his pocket and begins to play it. the two candidates smile and wave to nobody.

blackout.