it's open-letter time
dear philadelphia international airport (phl),
i am writing this letter to invite you to think very hard about our current relationship.
we have experienced, at worst, a tolerable co-existence over the past few years and i would love nothing more than to keep that going. your actions over the past few days have led me to believe that you do not wish to continue on that same level of amity.
my first grievance is with your baggage system. i know it can be difficult to organize millions of pieces of luggage and i applaud most of your efforts. if, however, you find it necessary to change the incoming carousel a minimum of 3 times upon my arrival, PLEASE make sure that those carousels are at least in the same area code as each other. walking a mile to turn around and walk another mile is simply not acceptable.
secondly, though i blame u.s. airways, please refrain form canceling, exchanging, or otherwise altering my ticket without my knowledge. this is sure to cause a scene and no one wants that.
lastly, to your small idiosyncrasies. your vendors with no sense of personal space or concept of the phrase “no, thank you.” your news stand employees who simply can’t be bothered with distractions like “changing a $20 bill” or conveying that a soda fridge is “self serve” in a pleasant and edifying manner. you’re witty pages of celebrities like denzel washington, jessica simpson and mario lemeiux over the pa that serve only the amusement of those uttering the pages and leave the rest of us shaking our heads.
nothing you have done has warranted a clean break. but, be aware that the ice upon which we rest is growing precariously thin. i urge you to consult your fellow associates (namely: o’hare, dfw, wash-dulles, and burbank) to see that i am serious in my plea. consider your future actions carefully.
in giving you the benefit of the doubt, i look forward to seeing you again on sunday and enjoying a wonderful and moron-free experience.
sincerely,
cade
i am writing this letter to invite you to think very hard about our current relationship.
we have experienced, at worst, a tolerable co-existence over the past few years and i would love nothing more than to keep that going. your actions over the past few days have led me to believe that you do not wish to continue on that same level of amity.
my first grievance is with your baggage system. i know it can be difficult to organize millions of pieces of luggage and i applaud most of your efforts. if, however, you find it necessary to change the incoming carousel a minimum of 3 times upon my arrival, PLEASE make sure that those carousels are at least in the same area code as each other. walking a mile to turn around and walk another mile is simply not acceptable.
secondly, though i blame u.s. airways, please refrain form canceling, exchanging, or otherwise altering my ticket without my knowledge. this is sure to cause a scene and no one wants that.
lastly, to your small idiosyncrasies. your vendors with no sense of personal space or concept of the phrase “no, thank you.” your news stand employees who simply can’t be bothered with distractions like “changing a $20 bill” or conveying that a soda fridge is “self serve” in a pleasant and edifying manner. you’re witty pages of celebrities like denzel washington, jessica simpson and mario lemeiux over the pa that serve only the amusement of those uttering the pages and leave the rest of us shaking our heads.
nothing you have done has warranted a clean break. but, be aware that the ice upon which we rest is growing precariously thin. i urge you to consult your fellow associates (namely: o’hare, dfw, wash-dulles, and burbank) to see that i am serious in my plea. consider your future actions carefully.
in giving you the benefit of the doubt, i look forward to seeing you again on sunday and enjoying a wonderful and moron-free experience.
sincerely,
cade
posted by cade at 1:52 PM
7 Comments:
eventually you will run out of airports to hate.
But Philly deserves it! They have the WORST airport in the US! I had a connecting flight from Jax to Logan. I was in a play and had tons of time (My flight was to land in Boston at noon. Play: 7pm call.) Outside there was a dusting of snow. We got to our gate and they said "as you can see we are experiencing a blizzard." A what? I wanted to say, "Um, there are windows over here, have you looked out?" They delayed the flight in increments of 15 minutes until 4:45. Then they delayed in an hour. Then they let us on at 5:45, pulled back from the gate so we were on an "active tarmac" and sat for 3 hours. (Needless to say, I didn't make it to the play.) And because we were not at the gate we could not use any electronic devices: CD players, DVD players, Cell phones, etc. I will NEVER fly through Philly again!
ah, but that could happen (and has happened) at any airport. (incidentally, the real fun is waiting for 3 hours on the tarmac only to return to the gate and have your flight canceled altogether.) the trick to hating airports is the repeated and multiple occassions of stupidity and/or negligence.
besides, even if an airport like phl snuck into your house in the middle of the night and kidnapped your dog or something heinous like that, i would still hold that it is angelic when compared to "the devil of the windy city."
o'hare is, and always will be, the worst airport in the world.
By the way . . . spot departure from Logan, and early arrival into Chicago O'Hare. 1 Piece of luggage checked and it was 4th off the carousel. An almost perfect arrival into O'Hare
oh, and becky-
there is an endless supply of small midwestern airports that are just waiting to screw me over.
alas, i will never run out.
sorry. read my previous comment as "on-time" or "spot-on 6:05am departure."
miracle. although flying INTO chicago is rarely the problem.
and as jeff would say: "even a blind squirrel..."
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