(insert record store name here) customer file #000324

for a while, i have been debating the ethics of posting profiles and descriptions of the various and sundry characters that frequent a certain quiet little record shop on the north shore. i don't wish to make fun of people for their "eccentricities" but after a night like this, i feel i have no choice.

customer #000324 - "L" aka "Lizard"

today, i met for the first time, an apparent neighbor of the store, "L." i also met her for the second, third, fourth and fifth time tonight in the span of a mere 4 hours.she is probably mid 30s and full of questions. she lives next door. this will be fun for years to come.

allow me to explain. "L"s first appearance was made in this manner. barefoot, wearing a 'jose cuervo' do-rag and a mish-mashed sweatsuit and fake oakleys WAY to high up on the forehead. now, i say barefoot, but you must realize, there was apparently some sort of bike accident in recent days. knees, elbows, even face; all about the road rash. so this fact was only enhanced. not to mention the dirt. covered in dirt. fine. whatever. she's "outdoor-sy." no prob. did i mention she reaked of bourbon?

then the questions started.

"what's with this 'ordinary people'?"
"um. that's duran duran's 'ordinary world' (a cassette single)"
"how much?"
"it's on the back."
"nevermind."

she left only to come back for a brief cameo a few minutes later. she asked me some incoherent question about anthony hopkins and was gone again. like the wind. like the drunken wind.

she returned a number of times. finally donning some duck wader boots and an electrical tape-wrapped left hand, but never straying from the trademark do-rag and candy neclace. oh, i forgot to mention the candy necklace? silly me. anyway, she returned a time or two to trade in some vhs tapes from her new favorite place-to-get-rid-of-crap. after unloading about 2 dozen videos ranging from dubs to home movies to beat up copies of just plain terrible movies. i managed to salvage about 9 of them and told her of my 3 for 1 trade policy. she thought that sounded great and came back to the counter with the batman trilogy on vhs, a t-shirt and handful of cassette tapes. i explained that the batman movies were fine but the others needed to be purchased. "you mean i need to bring in more tapes?" she asked. "money would be better" i offered. "alright, i'll be back." exit.

and so she was. her final visit consisted of ramblings about how courtney love shot kurt cobain, solicitation of advice as to whether she should stick with her undergrad or "go for another Phd" and the fact that i, as a small business owner, should accept nepalese coins. all kinds of information flowing in this place. the conversation continued down this meandering path until she was distracted. "oh, you have cds?"

needless to say. i am so positive that there will be more stories to come. but for now, i will wrap this file with this:

(picking at a wound on her elbow) "man, i hate this"
"what happened anyway?"
"this? oh, i don't know"

i didn't doubt it for a second.