virtual paper: take II

front page:

Hundreds feared dead, waters still rising in Katrina's wake

no jokes here...

'Our tsunami,' Mississippi hurricane survivors say

...well, not so fast. i guess that katrina came without warning just like the tsunami. no wait, you had THREE days to prepare. i'm not downplaying the destruction, just stop making that comparison.

oh, and i can't wait to see the "tribute" that hollywood hastily throws together in the wake of this tragedy.

alright, moving forward,

*rustle rustle rustle...*

Garfunkel Faces Another Pot Charge in NY

that's awesome! ahem..."like a briiiidge over trou-u-u-bled water...<trails off>...oh man, i'm so high"

let's see here...sports:

Roddick Ousted In First Round of U.S. Open

at least he won't lose to federer this time.

*rustle...*

Ostrich Stretches Legs on the Golden Gate

man, i miss san francisco.

Man Has Girl Present Hold-Up Note at Bank

it was a pracical joke gone wrong. now THAT's parenting. congratulations...5 years in prison.

*rustle, rustle...*

ah, the want ads:

1997 Lumina For Sale. New brakes. Excellent value. Must Go.

wow, that sounds like a great car! somebody would be CRAZY not to buy it.

and, in world events:

Ex-CIA operative denies Castro assassination plot

boring...

U.S. praises Libya, wags finger at Iran, North Korea

...boring...

Jellyfish Cause Reactor Shutdown in Sweden

...there it is.

and now, for the real reas...oh man! the dang crossword is already half filled out. oh, they put down DEPP for 1 across, i wonder what the clue was...let's see: "peter pan pirate." *shakes head* idiot.

i'm done with this.

*lights paper on fire. it's waffle time!*