a casting call OR wrestlin' with myself
sometimes...no, make ALL the time, i get frustrated with my lack of desire.
my current "why can't i do anything" situation involves something that should inspire me: a short script that i actually finished in may. it's a project that i have worked out over the course of the last couple of years. is it perfect? no. is it written? yes. and THAT is a huge step for me. i think it will be somewhat entertaining when it's shot and finalized, and that's all i can really ask for.
so, my problem is this: i'm lazy. i have never really worked to accomplish anything (other than my travel goals, but spending money is easy) in my life. jobs, opportunities, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. things have always just kind of fallen in my lap. but, now i am on the edge of making a short film from scratch and where most people would be proactive, all i am doing is waiting.
i am blessed with a job that allows me free time to take on projects exactly like this. so why am i not going forward with it? that is a superb question.
my story is of a group of friends reunited to help one get through a rough patch. a reunion that they all desperately need whether they know it or not. simple. 2 1/2 of the main roles have been cast (1/2 because i heard he wants to do it, but haven't actually talked to him) leaving me with 3 roles to fill.
and i can't figure out why no one has knocked on my door looking to play a part in an experimental indie short. i mean someone has to show up, right? that's the way it works.
i can't even get into the storyboarding process that i could EASILY be doing right now. (note: this film MUST be storyboarded well, it would be impossible to shoot otherwise.)
the point is, i have no motivation. no desire. and frankly, it terrifies me that i don't. why would i rather watch a netflix movie or contemplate how i could best change my room around to better use the space than follow a dream? because it takes effort? boy, that's a sad excuse and it makes me angry.
i don't know the answer. just something i needed to get off my chest. i pray for passion and desire. i pray for anything.
it's raining outside right now. i'm going for a walk.
my current "why can't i do anything" situation involves something that should inspire me: a short script that i actually finished in may. it's a project that i have worked out over the course of the last couple of years. is it perfect? no. is it written? yes. and THAT is a huge step for me. i think it will be somewhat entertaining when it's shot and finalized, and that's all i can really ask for.
so, my problem is this: i'm lazy. i have never really worked to accomplish anything (other than my travel goals, but spending money is easy) in my life. jobs, opportunities, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. things have always just kind of fallen in my lap. but, now i am on the edge of making a short film from scratch and where most people would be proactive, all i am doing is waiting.
i am blessed with a job that allows me free time to take on projects exactly like this. so why am i not going forward with it? that is a superb question.
my story is of a group of friends reunited to help one get through a rough patch. a reunion that they all desperately need whether they know it or not. simple. 2 1/2 of the main roles have been cast (1/2 because i heard he wants to do it, but haven't actually talked to him) leaving me with 3 roles to fill.
and i can't figure out why no one has knocked on my door looking to play a part in an experimental indie short. i mean someone has to show up, right? that's the way it works.
i can't even get into the storyboarding process that i could EASILY be doing right now. (note: this film MUST be storyboarded well, it would be impossible to shoot otherwise.)
the point is, i have no motivation. no desire. and frankly, it terrifies me that i don't. why would i rather watch a netflix movie or contemplate how i could best change my room around to better use the space than follow a dream? because it takes effort? boy, that's a sad excuse and it makes me angry.
i don't know the answer. just something i needed to get off my chest. i pray for passion and desire. i pray for anything.
it's raining outside right now. i'm going for a walk.
posted by cade at 11:21 AM
22 Comments:
um... pretty sure I can't act, but if you need someone with a lipring or minute amounts of musical talent...
I gave up my acting days in high school, although I did play an awesome stuttering rhino once... i'm guessing i could recreate that magic if needed...
my 'getting things done' coach from last year would tell you to list every single project associated with your task and then break it down into all the bits to get that done....keep funneling and until you have only the details. Then stop staring at the big picture and just deal with the small steps. For example, I want to be a children's counselor. NO, I want to be a great children's counselor. The best. The thought of it scares me to pieces. I can't look at the overall, but I can take a class...sometimes even two. I can read a book, write a paper, etc... I'm trusting God to work through the rest for me as I go. I'm not saying this will help, but i've been somewhere similar too...
You know I'm gonna help you cast this thing right?
yeah, of course. i just remeber a time when i was like "i'll do it in may." then "okay, july." now i'm like "august, maybe?"
i'm just a little frustrated with my lack of motivation. in my experience, that's not something i can muster up myself.
beck- thanks for the ideas. we'll see what happens.
art- some day, man. some day.
does this mean i'm clear of the stuttering rhino act cuz i will step up if asked...i got your back (double fist to the chest followed by a point at the screen for added emphasis)
maybe i'll write a script about a boy with a lip ring and his stuttering rhino pet. stay by your phones.
for you, I'll work for scale...hire me or someone else from out of town, make them fly to you or wherever you're shooting...then you'll have a date to shoot for shooting...sounds like a lot of shooting, are there guns in your film?
Cade, is there making-out in this film??! ...cuz i want that role.
Do the cool thing and come to Vancouver to make your movie. I'll be in it. I'm an actress at heart and by training.
I feel you on the motivation tip. I have no answers because I am in the same boat as you, but know that I'm right there with you.
johnny- no scale in this puppy. "scale" here means "for pizza." at least 'til i sell a script or two.
becky- not yet, but there's always room for a little bit.
joolz- don't even think that i won't shoot a movie there someday. it IS the cool thing to do. and you can be in it, ok?
i can flip off the screen for you or, perhaps, cavort outside an open window with brooke.
i think that you should cavort with brooke in every movie we ever do.
You've always got my back, Cade. That's why we're buds.
Sweet, man, sweet. I wait in anticipation.
first, on a lighter note...
can i be the moffia influence? or maybe a union guy on strike? is it a reality tv thing cause i think those things are gonna be popular
Second, on a not so lighter note... if i may... and i hope i am not over reaching here... maybe you don't "do" because you are scared? maybe you are afraid of what could happen so it is easier to always be about to do something. does that make sence?
i am still holding out for the lead in the KU trilogy - you know of what i speak - TRUNDLE - or at least i want to be on the DVD commentary
Hmmm....Eric GOBO Cade....I will help you out with both OR's....for the casting call, I'll pull out my little actress heart, complete with a snort or two if you'd like. For wrestlin' with yourself, I'll second Fletch's emotion, but I'll also say one thing: JUST DO IT. What have you got to lose? I believe in the good of the gobo. (And I'm stoked to be reunited with you over blog-world 'cause it feels so good...reunited 'cause we understood...). okay I'm done.
Dude, if we cast joolz in this thing we, the border police will let her cross, yes?
i think i have the right papers for that...
fletch- very possible, but that's not what it feels like. that would have to be sooo subconcious...and that's a whole other can o' worms.
and you're never overreaching, and you know it.
and cara-
so good to hear from you.
rock on, kujo!
thanks for taking it in the right spirit bro...
yeah, lets cast that girl (joolz) and get her in the country...
i mean, they let tomas mackey in...
You need a project manager! I know someone who works cheap and does an amazing job getting things done on time and under budget. I bet I can get her to do it for some newly downloaded music...
Aw, you sweethearts, always thinking of ways to smuggle me into the country I want to live in. Love to each of you and kisses on your heads.
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