in this long-awaited return edition of FALL MOVIE PREVIEW, we look at some of the biggest movies to grace our local multiplexes this fall and early winter. if you don't see a movie that you want to see...that's probably because it's either not worth my effort or just plain terrible. if it's the former, i apologize. if it's the latter, get better taste. either way, enjoy.
(reminder of my ratings scale: *=awful, **=not good, ***=tolerable, ****=okay, *****=might be worth seeing)WARNING: possible spoilers included. (i.e. amelia dies at the end of AMELIA.)ALL ABOUT STEVE (9/4) with all due respect to the sudden success of bradley cooper's career (and not to take anything away from co-star sandra bullock) this movie starts the preview because of the fact that it kicks off the fall with a role from none other than ken jeong. don't know who that is? impossible. since, apparently, you
can't make a
movie without him...(or a
tv show either for that matter.) settle in. the age of jeong is at hand. get on board or get run over.
***EXTRACT (9/4) mike judge, jason bateman, mila kunis, kristen wiig, gene simmons...what's not to love? well...ben affleck's in it too, but i remain hopeful.
*****9 (9/9) this big screen version of maury yetson's award-winning broadway musical boasts....wait....that's
THIS nine. well, what is this one then? oh, it's that kinda cool, oscar-winning animated short from a few years ago? and tim burton's producing it? sounds good to me.
****
CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY (9/23)
dear michael moore,
we get it. you are unhappy with the world we live in. please make a decent movie for a change.
sincerely,
everyone.
**THE INVENTION OF LYING (9/25) ricky gervais claims this is "the funniest episode of
the twilight zone ever." i'm in.
****
SHUTTER ISLAND (10/2) it's about time martin scorcese and leonardo dicaprio made a movie together.
***MORE THAN A GAME (10/2) starring lebron james.... ?
*COUPLES RETREAT (10/9) the ken jeong train rolls on. don't even try and stop it. jeong not enough to get you to see this? well, how about this? it was written by jon favreau and vince vaughn. if you are at all like me, you like...nay...you LOVE anything that is written by jon favreau and vince vaughn.
****WHIP IT (10/9) despite the fact that i like several of the people involved in this roller derby comedy directed by drew barrymore...it's still a roller derby comedy directed by drew barrymore.
**
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (10/16) my man-crush on director spike jonze prevents me from making any snarky comment about this movie. it looks spectacular.
*****THE ROAD (10/16) the feel-good movie of the year finally makes it to theaters. brings the kids. they're gonna love this one.
*****THIS IS IT (10/28) all bets on whether mj can pull a "heath ledger" this oscar season are off. i just hope it's as good as
captain eo.
***ZOMBIELAND (10/9) after wrapping this lighter-than-it-sounds flick, woody harrelson was so immersed in the movie's world that he claimed to have mistaken a new york photographer for a zombie...and decked him. well, if woody can get that wrapped up in it...i guess maybe i can too. or...maybe not.
**NINE (11/25) this big screen version of maury yetson's award-winning broadway musical boasts a pretty great cast and an experienced director. i don't expect a lot of my friends to beat a path to see this...but i may just check it out anyway.
****THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (11/20) something about vampires... honestly, the only thing that interests me about this "saga" is finding out just HOW uninterested i can become in it. it's like a personal challenge. and i bet i succeed brilliantly.
*
FANTASTIC MR. FOX (11/13) personal hero, wes anderson's, long awaited telling of the classic roald dahl story finally comes to...holy crap? it's ANIMATED!? i don't know, wes. i just don't know about this.
****
BROKEN EMBRACES (11/20) it's about time pedro almodóvar and penélope cruz made a movie together.
***THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS (11/6) there is simply no way in the world this movie can live up to the awesomeness that its title forces on my brain.
**A CHRISTMAS CAROL (11/6) great. another version of
a christmas carol. and just in time for...what...guy fawkes day?
*2012 (11/13) just when i had forgiven john cusack for doing
america's sweethearts...he goes and does a roland emmerich movie. ROLAND "FRIGGIN" EMMERICH!! i hope the mayans were right just so we don't have to watch this man continue to get money to make (
stargate possibly excepted) the worst movies ever.
-*******THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG (11/25) so, i guess disney decided that instead of
actually shutting down its 2-D animation studios...it would rather reevaluate its entire 72 year history and FINALLY make a movie about black people. what's the matter disney? ebony skin too hard to render on a computer?
*SERIOUS MOONLIGHT (12/4) i literally know NOTHING about this movie. it's just nice to know that meg ryan is still alive out there somewhere.
**SHERLOCK HOLMES (12/25)
comment not available. the author is too busy standing in line already to purchase tickets to this movie. *****ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKUEL (12/25) i hope you're happy, america.
because of you, they made another one. *that's all for this round. until next time, i'll see YOU at the movies. or, at least, sifting through the wastelands on netflix.
