disregard the previous post....

there is ONE thing that i hate at this moment.

tonight, as i fought off the current ebb of coughing and dizziness, i sat vacantly in front of my computer watching TV. since there was nothing on, i surfed to bravo where i found the new series, showdog moms and dads.

holy crap!

this is the worst show i have ever witnessed.

i thought for a moment about doing a cade-style review, but that didn't seem enough. it simply MUST exist on a hatred list and a hatred list only.

the premise is simple. the show follows the lives of people who love their dogs too much. almost criminally so.

-there's the standard couple who's been around the dogshow circuit since like 1925. they take their whippets very serious and God help the judge who disagrees. luckily, we get to see such a judge. injustice abounds.

-there's the mom who's 10-year-old son is an afterthought when compared to her four australian shepherds. and i quote: "this is riot. this is tooter. that's scooter. and heeere's roxy. oh and that's my son, adam."

she also trains adam to be a junior handler and successfully teaches him the importance of winning...complete with congratulating his opponent on her victory in front of adam BEFORE tearing into him for "letting the dog gallop."

later, in an agility competition, adam's dog jumps off one of the ramps. again, quoting mom here: "(looking at a list of the results) here you are. hey, you got 2nd place. oh wait, no, it says you got eliminated. you know, because he jumped off. well, no ribbon for you."

did i mention he's 10?

-next up, we have woman in a loveless marriage who spends 24 hours a day with her precious weimaraner. "i never really wanted, or had a desire to, you know, have children so..." this pretty much sums up her contribution to the show.

-then, we have the obligatory gay couple who pick out a new toy fox terrier named liberace, to embark on the journey of training him(?) as a show dog. these are probably the least offensive of the group in that they only dress up their miniature dogs. although the statement "our dogs don't roll in the mud or...fetch things. that's just stupid. our dogs are fashion gurus," does little to gain sympathy outside the paris hilton set. adding to the emotion is the teary-eyed couple's desire to get a new trainer after 5 minutes and a single yelp session with the current one.

-rounding out the cast is socialite-gone-awry, lourdes. tonight's episode found her and her indifferent husband acompanying her beloved german shepherds to the doctor to collect "the sperms" from the male, max, so she "could have them forever." an uncomfortably high number of utterances of the term "artificial vagina" followed.

i love the movie best in show, but somehow knowing that these people actually exist...just isn't funny. basically, the only way to truly get the horror of this show is to watch it. i can't say that i will again (well, maybe to see more tears shed and dashed puppy hopes.) but feel free to tune in yourself to see these specimens in action. i would advise you hurry, because i am proposing legislation to round them and others like them all up and ship them to a deserted island without the benefit of blow dryers and doggie salons.

now, THAT would be a great show.