a few ideas for hollywood
this friday, a modern remake of a classic drama that dealt boldly, if not a bit 2 dimensional, with race issues in the 1960's finally opens. that's right a thought-provoking head turner starring......ashton kutcher?
guess who is the not-at-all anticipated comedy remake of the classic tracy-hepburn-poitier movie, guess who's coming to dinner. a movie which, at the time, presented the idea of racial sterotypes as both ridculous and appalling. despite its inability to age gracefully since its release in 1967, dinner remains one of the more groundbreaking and influential movies to tackle racism.
so let's make it a screwball comedy starring the guy from that 70's show. great idea.
this got me thinking. if hollywood is going to go down this road, i want a piece of the action. so here are a few movies i think should be redone starring the young, mr. demi moore.
to kill a mockingbird. new title: boo. kutcher is a loose cannon lawyer who has to defend the local misunderstood shut-in. again, he shines in a story that makes the audience think again before judging those around them on the basis of outward appearance....all to HILARIOUS results.
on the waterfront. new title: down on the docks. marlon brando's terry malloy may have been a contender, but it's kutcher who will be delivering the knock-out punches in this madcap story of murder, greed, corruption and shots to the groin. i see tara reid as edie, and of course, eugene levy as father barry.
the deer hunter. new title: the night clubber. here, kutcher teams up with buddies sean william scott and matthew lillard as hollywood boys who become prisoners of war in iraq. oh man, this would be comedy gold. especially the russian roulette scene. priceless.
vertigo. new title: vertigo. a psychological study of a young man (kutcher) and his obsessive search for sanity and the ultimate "hottie." crazy and compulsive is always funny. just get rid of the whole "suspense-thriller" thing and throw in some jokes about peeing on each other and we're in business.
schindler's list. new title: the list. let's test ashton's acting chops. this is an upbeat remake of that uber-depressing speilberg sob-fest. instead of jews being saved from the holocaust, this is about wasted college students being saved from getting kicked out of school. kutcher plays oscar, a student who quietly funnels terrible students into the workplace despite their lack of education and qualifications. of course, hilarity ensues.
i think i could make some serious cha-ching with these pitches.
let me know if you think of any others. let's get that boy some work, people.
guess who is the not-at-all anticipated comedy remake of the classic tracy-hepburn-poitier movie, guess who's coming to dinner. a movie which, at the time, presented the idea of racial sterotypes as both ridculous and appalling. despite its inability to age gracefully since its release in 1967, dinner remains one of the more groundbreaking and influential movies to tackle racism.
so let's make it a screwball comedy starring the guy from that 70's show. great idea.
this got me thinking. if hollywood is going to go down this road, i want a piece of the action. so here are a few movies i think should be redone starring the young, mr. demi moore.
to kill a mockingbird. new title: boo. kutcher is a loose cannon lawyer who has to defend the local misunderstood shut-in. again, he shines in a story that makes the audience think again before judging those around them on the basis of outward appearance....all to HILARIOUS results.
on the waterfront. new title: down on the docks. marlon brando's terry malloy may have been a contender, but it's kutcher who will be delivering the knock-out punches in this madcap story of murder, greed, corruption and shots to the groin. i see tara reid as edie, and of course, eugene levy as father barry.
the deer hunter. new title: the night clubber. here, kutcher teams up with buddies sean william scott and matthew lillard as hollywood boys who become prisoners of war in iraq. oh man, this would be comedy gold. especially the russian roulette scene. priceless.
vertigo. new title: vertigo. a psychological study of a young man (kutcher) and his obsessive search for sanity and the ultimate "hottie." crazy and compulsive is always funny. just get rid of the whole "suspense-thriller" thing and throw in some jokes about peeing on each other and we're in business.
schindler's list. new title: the list. let's test ashton's acting chops. this is an upbeat remake of that uber-depressing speilberg sob-fest. instead of jews being saved from the holocaust, this is about wasted college students being saved from getting kicked out of school. kutcher plays oscar, a student who quietly funnels terrible students into the workplace despite their lack of education and qualifications. of course, hilarity ensues.
i think i could make some serious cha-ching with these pitches.
let me know if you think of any others. let's get that boy some work, people.
posted by cade at 7:34 PM
3 Comments:
that made my world a little snappier.
Hysterical. How about a remake of Saturday Night Fever? Retitle = Swivel Hips
Bring It On also does a better-than-adequate job of addressing the serious racial issues in cheerleading. Perhaps our children can remake that movie. New title: "Peer Amid, Peer Amidst...Breasts." All titles should have ellipses.
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