just give me a window seat and no one gets hurt
i am home. after 3 weeks on the road, i am back in my apartment with my own bed calling my name ever so softly. so, here are just a few quick thoughts about flying to boston on delta:
it sucks.
despite the fact that i have the better part of 10,000 sky miles, i will never do it again.
i avoided the snow in kansas city and actually departed on time. the tricky part was, although i had made the reservation months ago and it was a confirmed ticket, i had no seat. being particularly anxious to get home, i asked the ticketing lady frankly, "does this mean that i might not get a seat?" "you'll be fine." she replied. so, i sat with no actual ticket for either leg of my flight and waited for the gate agent to call my name. then, the plane began to board. at five minutes to departure and with no one else in the gate area, i finally got my seat assignment (though i did have to beg for it.)
on board, i sat in my somewhat comfortable 1st row, window seat just in time for some woman to ask me if i would switch with her so she could sit next to her boyfriend. fighting a wretch, i agreed and moved to her middle seat between two fat guys. finding little solace in the fact that the happy couple enjoyed their 45 minute flight together, because who was i to make them be apart for that long?
the second leg of my flight started with a second non-existent boarding pass finally given to me at the gate. from first row to last row: 45d...an aisle seat.
i despise aisle seats! i do not want to move when i am flying. i get comfortable and that is that. if you ever fly with me and are in the window or middle to my aisle seat, don't even think about getting out. if you know you're going to go to the bathroom 5 times, REQUEST AN AISLE AND GIVE ME THE FREAKIN' WINDOW. needless to say, i had that guy next to me. 4 trips to the lav by johnny no-bladder and one argument with a flight attendant over the difference between coke and every other soft drink on the planet later, we landed in boston. 20 minutes later, i finally got off the plane.
the one thing delta did right was that one of my bags was waiting for me at the carousel. the other, however, showed up dead last. just in time for me to catch my ride with my buddy james and careen into the endless sea of crazy, night time massachusetts drivers.
it sucks.
despite the fact that i have the better part of 10,000 sky miles, i will never do it again.
i avoided the snow in kansas city and actually departed on time. the tricky part was, although i had made the reservation months ago and it was a confirmed ticket, i had no seat. being particularly anxious to get home, i asked the ticketing lady frankly, "does this mean that i might not get a seat?" "you'll be fine." she replied. so, i sat with no actual ticket for either leg of my flight and waited for the gate agent to call my name. then, the plane began to board. at five minutes to departure and with no one else in the gate area, i finally got my seat assignment (though i did have to beg for it.)
on board, i sat in my somewhat comfortable 1st row, window seat just in time for some woman to ask me if i would switch with her so she could sit next to her boyfriend. fighting a wretch, i agreed and moved to her middle seat between two fat guys. finding little solace in the fact that the happy couple enjoyed their 45 minute flight together, because who was i to make them be apart for that long?
the second leg of my flight started with a second non-existent boarding pass finally given to me at the gate. from first row to last row: 45d...an aisle seat.
i despise aisle seats! i do not want to move when i am flying. i get comfortable and that is that. if you ever fly with me and are in the window or middle to my aisle seat, don't even think about getting out. if you know you're going to go to the bathroom 5 times, REQUEST AN AISLE AND GIVE ME THE FREAKIN' WINDOW. needless to say, i had that guy next to me. 4 trips to the lav by johnny no-bladder and one argument with a flight attendant over the difference between coke and every other soft drink on the planet later, we landed in boston. 20 minutes later, i finally got off the plane.
the one thing delta did right was that one of my bags was waiting for me at the carousel. the other, however, showed up dead last. just in time for me to catch my ride with my buddy james and careen into the endless sea of crazy, night time massachusetts drivers.
posted by cade at 10:41 PM
6 Comments:
Yeah... but your back... and I have a roomy again...
Bah Boo Bo DI Bah Boo Bwaaaahhh Bwah Bwahhhh... Solo!
"Widdly Wahh"
Am glad you're back. Art doesn't know how to properly use 'your' and 'you're' in a sentence.
Brooke had your same experience with the chubby fellow on the flight. Only she was in the window seat and he was in the middle. He was apparently doing one of those legs-spread-as-far-apart-as-possible sitting type things, due to the fact that his belly had to rest comfortably between them. Then he snored through the duration of the red-eye flight.
you should be allowed to shove one person out the door per flight. i think that is only fair.
Hey that reminds me of a good joke...
So there's these three bricklayers...
oh, and i completely forgot about the guy who started an entire conversation with me after over-hearing my phone call and mistaking the word "pageant" for the word "patent." i tried to explain to him that i didn't work with "patents" but he proceded to describe to me some obscure invention that he had come up with. i swear, there should be a law limiting conversation in the airport.
im just going to sympathize with brooke for a moment. when i was at the velvet revolver concert a couple weeks ago, the guy sitting next to me had his legs so far apart i figured he had balls the size of watermelons, or a really bad case of "elephant-titus."
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