the fabulous jet-set life
it started off innocently enough. freakin’ EARLY in the morning, but innocent, nonetheless.
i just wrapped my first week of three straight weeks on the road. i am finishing up my current project with a certain financial mega-institution, and this weekend was the first of 3 pageant weekends in a row for me. lots of traveling. lots of luggage. lots of advil.
at 5:30 est this morning, i dragged myself into the passenger seat of a maroon subaru forester and tried to force my eyes open. a relatively uneventful, one and a half hour ride from the small town of portsmouth, ohio north toward the city of columbus followed. we arrived at the airport promptly at 7:25. my compatriots caught their respective 8:30ish flights and i waited for mine. a shuttle flight leaving at 9:50. after feasting on a partially toasted blueberry bagel and a bottle of water, i decided that there was no reason for this down time to go to waste. so, i found a nice “comfortable” chair at my gate and went back to bed. the normal sounds of a bustling terminal lulled me back to where I was torn from hours earlier. only the repeated sound of a motion-activated santa claus singing “we wish you a merry christmas” from a nearby gift shop stood out above the dull roar. i drifted off.
“sir. sir!” i awoke to. “are you on the flight to dulles?”
“huh?”
“the 8:45 to dulles is boarding.”
“uh. no. i’m on the next flight.”
“oh, okay. sorry.”
i resettled in my chair and dozed off again.
“sir. are you going to dulles?” a different agent this time.
“no, la guardia.”
“oh, sorry.”
my eyes stinging…i nodded off one more time.
“sir, are you going to dulles?”
“NO.”
i searched around for a piece of paper to make a sign that read “la guardia only” and put it on my chest. i found no paper. so, i pulled out a book.
finally, i flew to new york. i arrived there and changed gates with just enough time to catch my flight to boston. my new home. but there would be no going home today. my original booking for an evening flight from boston to rochester was preempted recently by a round trip to ohio. naturally, had the same person been responsible for both itineraries I could have just flown straight to rochester from columbus. instead, i got to enjoy a nice 6 hour lay over at my new favorite place, terminal B at logan airport. left with not enough time or resources to actually go home, i tried in vain to go standby on an earlier flight to alleviate the suffering. but, given that i had to retrieve my bags just to go upstairs and recheck them, and us airways’ inability to get our luggage off the plane, much LESS to the proper carousel (which of course switched 3 times during the 45 minute wait.)
author's note: the proper baggage claim etiquette SHOULD BE the following: stand about 5 feet away from the carousel allowing everyone waiting a clear view of the bags unloading. when your bag becomes visible, step forward and retrieve it. DO NOT crowd around shoulder to shoulder with shins pressed against said carousel and render others unable to come within a zipcode of their luggage.
anyway, i ended up 3rd on the standby list. The 2:55 to rochester allowed 2 standby passengers.
i killed a little more time in a sports bar trying futily to catch even a glimpse of the chiefs’ game. Instead I was able to view 9 screens…3 on buccaneers/falcons, 3 on steelers/browns, and 3 on jets/ravens. fortunately, the steelers/browns game ended and i was now treated to 6 screens of jets/ravens. the 14 year old tending bar seemed unable and unwilling to change the channels. so, out came the book again.
the funny thing about terminal B, is the absolute cacophony of noises that invade your every sense almost without ceasing. i counted at least 6 emergency exit alarms from employees going through the two nearby doors. countless pages in broken english from “massport” pierced the stale air. people grumbled into cell phones about the fact that their flight was going to be 15 minutes late. i laughed, and waited.
300 pages deeper into my book and countless annoying voices announcing the same thing over and over, they finally announced that the 6:55 to rochester was ready to board. i looked at my watch. it was 7:15.
but, before the boarding festivities started, they announced that the new flight crew had determined that the cargo hold was inoperable and that our checked luggage would have to go out on a later flight. more phone calls were made. alas, we finally boarded WITH our luggage in tow and promptly sat on the tarmac for approximately 45 minutes.
i finally touched down in rochester and cabbed it to my hotel by 9:24pm. total elapsed travel time: just shy of 16 hours. according to mapquest, driving time from portsmouth to rochester: 7 hours 31 minutes.
nothing spectacular. just another slice of the everyday glamour that is my life. i feel like i've been hit by a truck.
i just wrapped my first week of three straight weeks on the road. i am finishing up my current project with a certain financial mega-institution, and this weekend was the first of 3 pageant weekends in a row for me. lots of traveling. lots of luggage. lots of advil.
at 5:30 est this morning, i dragged myself into the passenger seat of a maroon subaru forester and tried to force my eyes open. a relatively uneventful, one and a half hour ride from the small town of portsmouth, ohio north toward the city of columbus followed. we arrived at the airport promptly at 7:25. my compatriots caught their respective 8:30ish flights and i waited for mine. a shuttle flight leaving at 9:50. after feasting on a partially toasted blueberry bagel and a bottle of water, i decided that there was no reason for this down time to go to waste. so, i found a nice “comfortable” chair at my gate and went back to bed. the normal sounds of a bustling terminal lulled me back to where I was torn from hours earlier. only the repeated sound of a motion-activated santa claus singing “we wish you a merry christmas” from a nearby gift shop stood out above the dull roar. i drifted off.
“sir. sir!” i awoke to. “are you on the flight to dulles?”
“huh?”
“the 8:45 to dulles is boarding.”
“uh. no. i’m on the next flight.”
“oh, okay. sorry.”
i resettled in my chair and dozed off again.
“sir. are you going to dulles?” a different agent this time.
“no, la guardia.”
“oh, sorry.”
my eyes stinging…i nodded off one more time.
“sir, are you going to dulles?”
“NO.”
i searched around for a piece of paper to make a sign that read “la guardia only” and put it on my chest. i found no paper. so, i pulled out a book.
finally, i flew to new york. i arrived there and changed gates with just enough time to catch my flight to boston. my new home. but there would be no going home today. my original booking for an evening flight from boston to rochester was preempted recently by a round trip to ohio. naturally, had the same person been responsible for both itineraries I could have just flown straight to rochester from columbus. instead, i got to enjoy a nice 6 hour lay over at my new favorite place, terminal B at logan airport. left with not enough time or resources to actually go home, i tried in vain to go standby on an earlier flight to alleviate the suffering. but, given that i had to retrieve my bags just to go upstairs and recheck them, and us airways’ inability to get our luggage off the plane, much LESS to the proper carousel (which of course switched 3 times during the 45 minute wait.)
author's note: the proper baggage claim etiquette SHOULD BE the following: stand about 5 feet away from the carousel allowing everyone waiting a clear view of the bags unloading. when your bag becomes visible, step forward and retrieve it. DO NOT crowd around shoulder to shoulder with shins pressed against said carousel and render others unable to come within a zipcode of their luggage.
anyway, i ended up 3rd on the standby list. The 2:55 to rochester allowed 2 standby passengers.
i killed a little more time in a sports bar trying futily to catch even a glimpse of the chiefs’ game. Instead I was able to view 9 screens…3 on buccaneers/falcons, 3 on steelers/browns, and 3 on jets/ravens. fortunately, the steelers/browns game ended and i was now treated to 6 screens of jets/ravens. the 14 year old tending bar seemed unable and unwilling to change the channels. so, out came the book again.
the funny thing about terminal B, is the absolute cacophony of noises that invade your every sense almost without ceasing. i counted at least 6 emergency exit alarms from employees going through the two nearby doors. countless pages in broken english from “massport” pierced the stale air. people grumbled into cell phones about the fact that their flight was going to be 15 minutes late. i laughed, and waited.
300 pages deeper into my book and countless annoying voices announcing the same thing over and over, they finally announced that the 6:55 to rochester was ready to board. i looked at my watch. it was 7:15.
but, before the boarding festivities started, they announced that the new flight crew had determined that the cargo hold was inoperable and that our checked luggage would have to go out on a later flight. more phone calls were made. alas, we finally boarded WITH our luggage in tow and promptly sat on the tarmac for approximately 45 minutes.
i finally touched down in rochester and cabbed it to my hotel by 9:24pm. total elapsed travel time: just shy of 16 hours. according to mapquest, driving time from portsmouth to rochester: 7 hours 31 minutes.
nothing spectacular. just another slice of the everyday glamour that is my life. i feel like i've been hit by a truck.
posted by cade at 10:33 PM
1 Comments:
i guess the lifestyle of the rich and famous ain't all that it's cracked up to be.
we miss you around here and are eagerly awaiting your return.
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