holiday movie preview
just doing my part to help out when you need to make those critical decisions about what movies to go see this holiday season. so here is my take on some of the offerings this year. (ratings scale: *=awful, **=terrible, ***bad, ****=okay, *****=might be worth seeing)
FINDING NEVERLAND (11/12) johnny depp plays a boyish man in this period movie. wow, that's inventive. all things considered, it should be pretty good. *****
SEED OF CHUCKY (11/12) gotta give them credit for still trying. *
BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON (11/12) renee zellweger with a bad english accent. people somehow liked the first one, i can't imagine how this got made. *
NATIONAL TREASURE (11/19) let's see, the director of "3 ninjas" AND nicholas cage in a taut, action flick that in no way resembles ANYTHING EVER DONE BEFORE?
at least angelina's hot. no stars
ALEXANDER (11/24) good cast, good director...might be watchable. at least angelina's hot. ****
CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS (11/24) i'm sure this tim allen christmas fest is full of original sentiment and original comedy. **
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS (12/03) i love the name! the girl from "crouching tiger" is in it, but with that name...who cares what it's about. ****
BEYOND THE SEA (12/10) as a movie? **** with an all kevin spacey soundtrack? ***
THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU (12/10) please let this be good. PLEEEEASE! *****
OCEAN'S TWELVE (12/10) the gang is back. i loved the first one, but this one's NOT in vegas and they've added catherine zeta-jones-douglas-jones-smith. ****
THE AVIATOR (12/17) leo dicaprio as howard hughes. lot's of oscar buzz already. from who? the director? oh...that MUST mean it's good. ****
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (12/17) one part tim burton, one part robin williams in "toys." in fact, i bet it's a LOT of parts robin williams in "toys." **
ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER'S THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (12/22) finally, the big screen version of one of the most over-hyped broadway musicals in the history of mankind. is madonna in this one, too? no? too bad. *
PROOF (12/24) this might actually be a good movie. if ONLY someone involved had ever won an award for anything they've done. *****
FAT ALBERT (12/25) bill cosby must be rolling over in his grave. wait. he's not dead. i'll give him a week after this thing comes out. *
that's it for now. until next time, i'll see YOU at the movies. or, at least, the checkout line at blockbuster in a few months.
FINDING NEVERLAND (11/12) johnny depp plays a boyish man in this period movie. wow, that's inventive. all things considered, it should be pretty good. *****
SEED OF CHUCKY (11/12) gotta give them credit for still trying. *
BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON (11/12) renee zellweger with a bad english accent. people somehow liked the first one, i can't imagine how this got made. *
NATIONAL TREASURE (11/19) let's see, the director of "3 ninjas" AND nicholas cage in a taut, action flick that in no way resembles ANYTHING EVER DONE BEFORE?
at least angelina's hot. no stars
ALEXANDER (11/24) good cast, good director...might be watchable. at least angelina's hot. ****
CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS (11/24) i'm sure this tim allen christmas fest is full of original sentiment and original comedy. **
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS (12/03) i love the name! the girl from "crouching tiger" is in it, but with that name...who cares what it's about. ****
BEYOND THE SEA (12/10) as a movie? **** with an all kevin spacey soundtrack? ***
THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU (12/10) please let this be good. PLEEEEASE! *****
OCEAN'S TWELVE (12/10) the gang is back. i loved the first one, but this one's NOT in vegas and they've added catherine zeta-jones-douglas-jones-smith. ****
THE AVIATOR (12/17) leo dicaprio as howard hughes. lot's of oscar buzz already. from who? the director? oh...that MUST mean it's good. ****
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (12/17) one part tim burton, one part robin williams in "toys." in fact, i bet it's a LOT of parts robin williams in "toys." **
ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER'S THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (12/22) finally, the big screen version of one of the most over-hyped broadway musicals in the history of mankind. is madonna in this one, too? no? too bad. *
PROOF (12/24) this might actually be a good movie. if ONLY someone involved had ever won an award for anything they've done. *****
FAT ALBERT (12/25) bill cosby must be rolling over in his grave. wait. he's not dead. i'll give him a week after this thing comes out. *
that's it for now. until next time, i'll see YOU at the movies. or, at least, the checkout line at blockbuster in a few months.
posted by cade at 6:30 PM
3 Comments:
freakin' hilarious! Don't forget the tagline on "Seed of Chucky" - "This season, get a load of Chucky"
cade,
couldn't agree with you more about the bridget jones series. i can't believe i had to watch the first one three times (twice in a vain, yet successful, attempt to score a little action)!
carve it in stone right now: there is no way i am going to this f*cking movie. however, if they were to make "Bridget Jones: The Beauty of Bulimia" i'd probably be the first in line.
bridget jones: the edge of a cliff...would also be awesome.
i was just pissed that i didn't post this before "surviving christmas" came out. ben affleck's career sans kevin smith is D-O-N-E done.
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