in the news II

inventor of gatorade dies.

maybe NOW i'll see some of that money.

in the news

awful.

it's weird that it's weird

tonight, for the first time in 15 years...THIS is happening and i am not there.

i have missed exactly one pageant (OK '98) since 1995 - which is something that even the director of the program can't claim - and i gotta say, it's REALLY weird not being there. which is, in itself, weird.

the pageants are hard work. they are long days, loads of manual labor and exhausting chore after exhausting chore. i tend to dread them in the week leading up to each one simply because over the years, my responsibilities have expanded and i have taken on many of the tasks that no one wants/thinks to do. i don't mind doing them. it's second nature to me and i can almost sleepwalk through the productions after 8 years at the helm. but it is a lot to cram into 2 1/2 short days.

but on the flipside, it is a time that i get to reconnect with friends that i have literally been through the trenches with for the better part of a decade and a half. we work well together as a cohesive unit and despite the constantly regenerating apprehensions i have going into each weekend...i truly do enjoy being there.

the life of a vagabond affords few opportunities for repeatable and familiar experiences. one of the few constants i have been able to claim since my days as a young undergrad...strangely, has been the pageants. i mean, i have moved THREE times since march of this year, but i have been doing the pageants every year for FIFTEEN years. that's just shy of half of my life.

just a few saturdays ago, at this time, i was sitting in a high school auditorium in the middle of rural nebraska frantically cutting music together for the preliminary show that night. the girls were rehearsing the opening number on the stage. the projection equipment was still not put together. the sound and light guys were desperately troubleshooting their equipment to fix all of the problems we were having. and despite the chaos and lack of sleep...i was calm and felt an overwhelming familiarity resting on top of me.

right now, as i am typing this, i am missing that same rehearsal (albeit, in a different auditorium in a different state) and that same, awkward feeling of comfort.

and i find myself missing it.