the perfect storm
tonight, i will navigate one of the more difficult line-ups in the history of television. it will be a focused trek that will be at times dangerous, at times euphoric and never for the faint of heart.
the expedition lays out thusly:
SUPPLIES:
-one (1) toshiba 25" color television; cable ready
-one (1) sony vaio laptop; wireless internet compatible
-one (1) samsung SPH-A470 mobile telephone
-one (1) sony vaio desktop; giga pocket enabled (optional)
-assortment of snacks and drinks
ACCOMPLICES:
-agent ahbahsean
-agent wilcox (pending)
-jack bauer
PLAN OF ATTACK:
at 8 pm (est) sharp, tune the toshiba to local cable channel number 7 for the 64th annual golden globe awards. use mobile phone to call agent ahbahsean to go over the plan. set the channel "recall" setting to local cable channel 13 where the second of two premiere episodes of 24 is beginning.
during first hour of said programs, flip between them as needed; relying heavily on ahbahsean's expertise and play-by-play of agent bauer saving the world and generally kicking terrorist ass. power up the laptop and the desktop.
before 9 pm, open the giga pocket application on desktop and set it to local cable channel 7, mirroring (at times) the television in the other room. launch browser on laptop and navigate to "www.australianopen.com."
wait and pray.
9 pm (est) - zero hour. turn primary channel on television to local channel 49 (bypassing gay straight or taken on lifetime) and prepare for game number one of the 2007 college basketball "border showdown" between the university of kansas jayhawks and the university of missouri tigers. reset "recall" function from 24 to the globes. giga pocket is tuned up one channel to espn2 for coverage of first-round action at the 2007 australian open tennis tournament. agent ahbahsean continues to secretly funnel information regarding the fate of the world via the mobile phone. play begins in melbourne, australia. tennis tracker is firmly in place on the laptop.
sensory overload begins.
after a white knuckle hour that i wouldn't wish on anyone, 24 ends with an explosion or a dead terrorist or a stare of disbelief from jack bauer....or all of the above.
halftime of the basketball game will provide unhindered access to the golden globes, but only for a brief period of time. at roughly 10:15 pm (est) focus is returned to the game. tennis tracker is monitored, the globes are checked in on and agent wilcox makes a probable appearance to offer support.
at roughly 11 pm, the golden globes taper off and the game (barring overtime) winds down with a jayhawk victory. heart rate returns to normal. and the television finds its ultimate home for the journey on espn2 with a match between raphael nadal and some guy i've never heard of.
time that tennis is turned off: TBA
lord, give me strength and have mercy on my soul.
the expedition lays out thusly:
SUPPLIES:
-one (1) toshiba 25" color television; cable ready
-one (1) sony vaio laptop; wireless internet compatible
-one (1) samsung SPH-A470 mobile telephone
-one (1) sony vaio desktop; giga pocket enabled (optional)
-assortment of snacks and drinks
ACCOMPLICES:
-agent ahbahsean
-agent wilcox (pending)
-jack bauer
PLAN OF ATTACK:
at 8 pm (est) sharp, tune the toshiba to local cable channel number 7 for the 64th annual golden globe awards. use mobile phone to call agent ahbahsean to go over the plan. set the channel "recall" setting to local cable channel 13 where the second of two premiere episodes of 24 is beginning.
during first hour of said programs, flip between them as needed; relying heavily on ahbahsean's expertise and play-by-play of agent bauer saving the world and generally kicking terrorist ass. power up the laptop and the desktop.
before 9 pm, open the giga pocket application on desktop and set it to local cable channel 7, mirroring (at times) the television in the other room. launch browser on laptop and navigate to "www.australianopen.com."
wait and pray.
9 pm (est) - zero hour. turn primary channel on television to local channel 49 (bypassing gay straight or taken on lifetime) and prepare for game number one of the 2007 college basketball "border showdown" between the university of kansas jayhawks and the university of missouri tigers. reset "recall" function from 24 to the globes. giga pocket is tuned up one channel to espn2 for coverage of first-round action at the 2007 australian open tennis tournament. agent ahbahsean continues to secretly funnel information regarding the fate of the world via the mobile phone. play begins in melbourne, australia. tennis tracker is firmly in place on the laptop.
sensory overload begins.
after a white knuckle hour that i wouldn't wish on anyone, 24 ends with an explosion or a dead terrorist or a stare of disbelief from jack bauer....or all of the above.
halftime of the basketball game will provide unhindered access to the golden globes, but only for a brief period of time. at roughly 10:15 pm (est) focus is returned to the game. tennis tracker is monitored, the globes are checked in on and agent wilcox makes a probable appearance to offer support.
at roughly 11 pm, the golden globes taper off and the game (barring overtime) winds down with a jayhawk victory. heart rate returns to normal. and the television finds its ultimate home for the journey on espn2 with a match between raphael nadal and some guy i've never heard of.
time that tennis is turned off: TBA
lord, give me strength and have mercy on my soul.
posted by cade at 7:45 AM
10 Comments:
We will not fail!
I have your back!
Jack Bauer is a vampire!
he's not a vampire. he's just a cannibal.
my life sucks. here is why. i don't even want to watch any of that stuff except for the Jayhawks. i have internet and cable and blah blah but you know how many games have aired on the west coast?
2.
will tonight air.
hell no.
i could give a shit about the golden globes (which will air) or 24 (which will air) or the australian open (which will air here).
my life sucks.
You need DVR. It's easily the best 10 bones I spend a month.
mike, i feel no pity for you. and the game should air tonight. it's big monday for cryin' out loud. it should be on at 6 your time. if it's not.....well, then move.
le, DVR would be the worst possible investment i could ever make. not only from a "tv-will-NOT-rule my world" standpoint. but because it would only come in handy for recording stuff during church or nights like tonight. my computer does the former...and since three of the things i am watching tonight are live...the latter is rare and pointless.
ah. it's good to be back.
Eric Balfour is working for CTU. He was a vampire in Buffy Season 1.
New President Palmer was a Vampire hunter in Buffy Season 7.
Jack Bauer bit someone in the neck to kill him - Vampire. He only didn't turn him into a vampire because Jack Bauer doesn't vamp terrorists.
The Biscuit - yes a lawyer at Cage and Fish but more importantly he started his career as a Dragonslayer. If he can kill a dragon, what's a few vampires... Plus, he's working for the President/Vampire hunter.
Day 6 is going to get crazy folks.
Hee hee...you crack me up! Of course, I'm reading your blog as I am flipping back and forth between the KU game and the Golden Globes. I believe my husband would rather me just leave it on the game...that is why I get the remote : )
"an explosion or a dead terrorist or a stare of disbelief from jack bauer....or all of the above"
i guess we'll call that an "all of the above."
You forgot the most vital thing! Visine for your eyes, gone bloodshot and immobile from watching four things simultaneously!
I think this really might be the longest day of Jack Bauer's life.
I'm kinda sad they cast The Biscuit as the sneaky underminding Chief of Staff. I mean for one: Can no one in that position be a dependable aid to the president and two: wouldn't he have made a great computer geek for CTU. ...or even better legal counsel for Jack Bauer. Ip.
Ip, Ip, Ip.
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