a post that nobody probably cares about but me...but it's something

with friday's release of this movie, i have quelled my excitement for just a moment to let my mind run a little wild. the other night, as i flew home from kansas city, i punched the 2005 recording of the musical into my not-iPod to catch up on some things in preparation of the movie. then, i started to think..."i wonder what OTHER sondheim musicals would look like as movies?"

so here are my completely unwarranted picks for who i would like to be involved in studio versions of my 5 other favorite sondheim creations:

(note: actors' ability to sing was NOT taken into account on this list.)

into the woods

directed by terry gilliam

cast

narrator - jim dale
witch - michelle pfeiffer
baker - ed norton
baker's wife - naomi watts
cinderella - jennifer aniston
jack - zac efron
jack's mother - jessica walter
rapunzel's prince - vince vaughn
cinderella's prince - owen wilson
featuring andy serkis as milky white the cow and will ferrell as the giant

fresh on the heels of gilliam's recent stab at fairy tales, the brothers grimm, i really can see no one else doing justice to this "what if all of these stories intertwined...and completely unraveled themselves?" masterpiece. as i began putting this cast together it became quickly apparent that i was dangerously close to turning it into a live-action cartoon. but, it would be an AWESOME live-action cartoon. HIGHLIGHTS: "agony" as sung by jilted princes vaughn and wilson would be the show stopper. and generally, watching this cast lay the smack down on each other in "your fault" would be amazing.


sunday in the park with george

directed by michel gondry

cast

george - jude law
dot - scarlett johansson

this fictionalization of the brief life of french impressionist, georges seurat, revolves around his muse/lover (dot) and his push to perfection on his greatest work would need an artist to make. and the balance between the original story and the subsequent story of seurat's great-grandson (also law) in the present day doing his best to reinvent himself would need a brilliant story teller. enter michel gondry. with a fairly hefty cast (imagine all of the principle figures in the painting coming to life...then morphing into a modern art crowd) i decided to only focus on the two main roles. HIGHLIGHTS: gondry's visuals in bringing the painting to life. law's impassioned attempt to get it right with "finishing the hat."


company

directed by stephen frears

cast

robert - hugh jackman
amy - kristin chenoweth
marta - toni collette
david - john cusack
joanne - glenn close
special appearance by kate beckinsale as april

a single guy and all of his married friends. for years, this was my favorite sondheim piece. it's still phenomenal, but the "robert" in me is long gone. comedic and touching. optimistic and truthful. "company" is nothing short of brilliant. the trick is it's lack of story. it's more of a series of vignettes than anything. stephen frears has worked wonders before...he could do it again. HIGHLIGHTS: of course, chenoweth's take on "getting married today" would be hysterical and collette's "another hundred people" would be as honest and brutal as it should be.


merrily we roll along

directed by christopher nolan

cast

franklin - ethan embry
charlie - jack black
mary - kirsten dunst

"merrily" has never really found success, but i have always loved the music. it's the story of a group of friends and the success and unavoidable failure they find in the music business,and with each other...told in backwards chronological order. now, who do we know that has successfully told a story in backwards chronological order? as for the cast, well they had to be young enough to pull off being teenagers, but old enough to carry on the next 25 years convincingly. it's an old-school style musical but still an interesting look at people and how they get to where they are. HIGHLIGHTS: black's charlie finally and hilariously letting go of the building tension between himself and franklin in "franklin shepherd, inc."


assassins

directed by spike jonze

cast

proprietor - daniel day-lewis
the balladeer - neil patrick harris
john wilkes booth - christian bale
john hinckley - philip seymour hoffman
sarah jane moore - joan cusack
lynette "squeaky" fromme - kate hudson
charles j. guiteau - john turturro

simply put, this would be impossible to film. like "company," there is no story to speak of. my favorite of sondheim's works, it's a darkly comic study on those who sought to take the fate of a country into their own hands. past assassins' stories are all told with the help of a balladeer (harris; who played the role in 2004's revival on broadway) and all culminate on a november morning in dallas in 1963. it tap dances on good taste and walks away marvelously. HIGHLIGHTS: the opener, "everybody's got the right to be happy" led and organized by a smarmy day-lewis would set the perfect tone. hoffman and hudson's duet "unworthy of your love" sung to jodie foster and charles manson respectively would continue it. and the chilling "another national anthem" would seal the deal.