tsunami relief wrapped in a tidy hollywood ribbon
NOTE: IN NO WAY AM I MAKING LIGHT OF THE DISASTER THAT TOOK PLACE OR IGNORING MY OWN HORROR OR SHOCK AT WHAT OCCURED IN SOUTH ASIA...
...that said, what the HELL was tsunami aid: a concert of hope all about?
it aired on no fewer than 10 channels so you had no choice but to watch celebrity after celebrity recount the grisly details of what happened. i’m sorry but i don’t need clint eastwood to somberly (and to be honest, downright frighteningly) tell me how horrific it was to convince me to send my money to a noble aid organization. nor do i need to see the same video footage that i’ve seen for the last 3 weeks, only this time with the voice of donald sutherland telling me how hard life is going to be for all of these children. for crying out loud, how many pictures of suffering children can you recycle and cram into a 2 hour time frame? here are the lowlights of the concert of hope:
- madonna offering the worst cover of john lennon’s imagine i have ever heard in my life.
- chris matthews having the audacity to ask the head of the american red cross, “now, will this money SAY ‘from the u.s.a.’ on it?” i am astonished by this vulgar display of pride. who gives a sh*t how much “america” gives. that’s so not the point. i fought back my first wretch. it would not be the last.
- awkward moment #1 - maroon 5 following halle berry’s sobering segment with their hit song she will be loved.
- 8th version of “this is (insert any one of 20 names). he/she survive the tsunami by clinging desperately to a/an (insert any one of 20 inanimate objects). please help him/her.”
- the realization that jay leno truly does have a crush on brad pitt. leave him alone, jay, geesh.
- awkward moment #2 – nelly’s completely inappropriate n dey say following drew barrymore’s plea to help the pregnant women affected by the disaster.
- smug celebrity + tired verbal rehash of tragedy X 50 = tugged heart strings
- 10th version of “(insert name of destroyed seaside resort) was a tropical paradise and popular honeymoon destination. and now it’s GONE!”
- awkward moment(s) #3 – quentin tarantino giddily waving at the camera while on the phone every time he was shown.
- the general over use of the words: devastation, cataclysmic and tragedy
-diana ross’s reach out and touch as an ending. only in hollywood
and the highlights:
- i honestly looked for just ONE person who showed genuine compassion, but found no one. i was wondering if i should have watched walker texas ranger on the hallmark channel instead. so i guess there were no highlights.
please keep any angry comments to yourself. i am NOT interested in defending my views on this disaster. i do not need to. it’s horrible. i get that. what i am furious about is this two-hour piece of bleeding heart propaganda aimed only at guilting the american public into sending in money so that we can all feel better about our fat lives.
if you would like to really help, go here.
...that said, what the HELL was tsunami aid: a concert of hope all about?
it aired on no fewer than 10 channels so you had no choice but to watch celebrity after celebrity recount the grisly details of what happened. i’m sorry but i don’t need clint eastwood to somberly (and to be honest, downright frighteningly) tell me how horrific it was to convince me to send my money to a noble aid organization. nor do i need to see the same video footage that i’ve seen for the last 3 weeks, only this time with the voice of donald sutherland telling me how hard life is going to be for all of these children. for crying out loud, how many pictures of suffering children can you recycle and cram into a 2 hour time frame? here are the lowlights of the concert of hope:
- madonna offering the worst cover of john lennon’s imagine i have ever heard in my life.
- chris matthews having the audacity to ask the head of the american red cross, “now, will this money SAY ‘from the u.s.a.’ on it?” i am astonished by this vulgar display of pride. who gives a sh*t how much “america” gives. that’s so not the point. i fought back my first wretch. it would not be the last.
- awkward moment #1 - maroon 5 following halle berry’s sobering segment with their hit song she will be loved.
- 8th version of “this is (insert any one of 20 names). he/she survive the tsunami by clinging desperately to a/an (insert any one of 20 inanimate objects). please help him/her.”
- the realization that jay leno truly does have a crush on brad pitt. leave him alone, jay, geesh.
- awkward moment #2 – nelly’s completely inappropriate n dey say following drew barrymore’s plea to help the pregnant women affected by the disaster.
- smug celebrity + tired verbal rehash of tragedy X 50 = tugged heart strings
- 10th version of “(insert name of destroyed seaside resort) was a tropical paradise and popular honeymoon destination. and now it’s GONE!”
- awkward moment(s) #3 – quentin tarantino giddily waving at the camera while on the phone every time he was shown.
- the general over use of the words: devastation, cataclysmic and tragedy
-diana ross’s reach out and touch as an ending. only in hollywood
and the highlights:
- i honestly looked for just ONE person who showed genuine compassion, but found no one. i was wondering if i should have watched walker texas ranger on the hallmark channel instead. so i guess there were no highlights.
please keep any angry comments to yourself. i am NOT interested in defending my views on this disaster. i do not need to. it’s horrible. i get that. what i am furious about is this two-hour piece of bleeding heart propaganda aimed only at guilting the american public into sending in money so that we can all feel better about our fat lives.
if you would like to really help, go here.
posted by cade at 10:06 PM
4 Comments:
"chris matthews having the audacity to ask the head of the american red cross, “now, will this money SAY ‘from the u.s.a.’ on it?”"
wtf... I was so ashamed to call myself an american when I saw this... poor Jamie got the brunt of my discourse and thanks to the Canadian for also letting me deal with homeland frustration...
also, why was it a room full of celebrities? Are we as Americans too shallow to care if there are 50 average joes (let's not get into reality tv here) behind the phone? We now need to be able to talk to a celebbrity, get some signed merchandise, AND have our name printed clearly on the donations before we can rationalize giving???? that's fucking sick...
totally with you Cade... but... you knew that...
i know. i called in 6 times and never once got to talk to cindy crawford or george clooney. jay leno is a liar.
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i feel sorry for the guy who had to write this:
http://www.cadeland.com/tsunami-article.htm
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